I’ve worked out a few times leading up to Christmas. I worked out good and hard too! On the 23rd I was at the gym getting my sweat on.
Time for the Christmas confessional. I’ve imbibed a wee bit. I’ve consumed some beer and wine over the past few days.
On the 24th at noon my boss tossed a couple of growlers up on the table and along with the rest of the staff I raised a pint to toast the season.
For the most part I’ve been quite good with not over indulging in the food area of the holidays as well. Mind you a pizza recently visited my life as well. I’ll man-up about this though. I was simply too damn lazy to cook.
This occurred on the 26th. I drove a great deal that day you see.
I visited with my sister who lives about a one hour drive away.
And as I left I went about my second task of the day which was to replace my T.V.
I’ve had the current television for close to 15 years. It is just the third T.V. I’ve owned in my life and still worked just fine, however, with the new technology my unit kept losing the signal. The technicians, who were are very pleasant and based out of Guatemala did their best to assist.
The problem still persisted. I pondered on the fact that perhaps my old tube T.V. just couldn’t translate the information adequately. I had been advised that if a technician was sent to my home and the problem was my ‘fault’ then the cost would fall to me.
Odd, yes? I haven’t touched anything behind my T.V. other than to clean in the last 5 years. In any case I considered what my response would be if I was informed that my T.V. was too old for the technology.
I decided that perhaps it was time to purchase a new T.V. rather than possibly causing bodily harm to a technician.
I did my homework on the Boxing Day offerings. Had my budget set out and decided that Visions Electronics had the most lucrative deals. Next was to find a location that would not be inundated by the masses. In other words, I had to find a store location that was not attached to a godforsaken mall.
I decided upon the store location on Marine Drive and as I arrived it was as I suspected busy but not unreasonably so.
A young store clerk showed me my options and I asked a series of questions then I told him I would like consider my options and he left me alone. I read the fine print and half hour later waltzed out of the store with a 40″ Hisense LED Smart TV at a cost of $350.00.
Yay! I had met my objective.
I headed home with my purchase. I passed the lineup on the Queensborough Bridge. The outlet mall on Queensborough Landing was just insane as cars were lined up for miles trying to access the stores.
I was really hungry at this point so I dropped the T.V. off then headed out to grab a quick bite. And as I consumed my meal it occurred to me that I have a ‘Smart’ phone that still confounds me on many fronts.
Now, admittedly, I really only require the basics of talking and texting from my phone. There are a plethora of apps available to me of this I’m assured, but they hold no appeal to me personally.
They don’t really make phones with just basic functions any longer. Still there are those moments when I’ll push something I ought not to have and the damn thing won’t do what I want.
And it is in these moments that I feel very foolish and not particularly intelligent.
For example shortly after I had purchased this smart technology, I was certain I’d found a ‘lemon’ as it was now frozen. I went back to London Drugs and expressed my dismay to the clerk.
With a slide of his finger and an apologetic smile on his face the clerk handed the phone back to me.
I had inadvertently locked the phone.
I have this affliction though. When it comes to directions I glance at them then launch into whatever it is I am trying to accomplish.
Why I have this idea in my head that I should know what I’m doing without the benefit of being guided by the directions that have been so thoughtfully included, well I wish I had an answer to this.
I paid the bill and headed back to my homestead to get this technological wonder up and running.
So let me ask you this. Having just made the confession I did, do you think I read the directions prior to embarking on this task?
After all I only wanted to plug it in and ensure that it did in fact work. How difficult could this be?
Welcome to the episodic adventures of ‘The Dumb Blond Meets the Smart TV.’
First I had to unhook the old T.V. and this proved to be a challenge. I needed a wrench to loosen the cable that was screwed in tightly to the back of the set. Then I pulled the cumbersome beast off onto a sheet I’d placed on the floor so that I could pull it out of the way without scraping up the floor.
Next I removed parts from the box. The stand seemed to require screws and after a brief search that lasted a nanosecond I was convinced that his puppy snapped together like Lego as I could not find any screws.
(Queue the music…the theme from Pyscho or Jaws will do)
Note to self: It would have been very beneficial to have read the directions at this point.
They did in fact kinda sorta snap together.
So I crawled in behind the T.V. and began plugging in various coloured cables into various coloured plugins.
The flashlight was directed at the plugins and the batteries were fading fast. The object was so that I could see which colour I was inputing and damned if I could find a yellow plugin for the yellow cable. Briefly I wondered at their various designations. It was at this point as I poked about the back that the T.V. that it fell forward onto the floor.
I gasped in horror as my mind immediately began trying to make excuses to trade this back to the store with no additional cost to me. Now just how pathetic is that?
Gingerly I lifted it up and it appeared fine. My smart T.V. had just survived its first test of having me as the owner. Laying the screen down gently I walked back over to the stuff strewn across my sofa. There an image glared at me depicting screws going into the holes on the stand. A few moments later said screws were located.
I now had everything secured and hopefully plugged in correctly.
Several buttons ran down the side of the screen and I noted the power button and with baited breath pushed it.
A red light came on and I felt a small wave of triumph wash over me. The word ‘HISENSE’ appeared on the screen in a lovely shade of light turquoise.
A tentative sense of relief slipped in. I’d not broken it!
Now it asked me my language preference and where I lived. It asked my provider and my password and that is as far as we got. It kept looping back.
Maybe I did damage it I thought in despair. Would I not be able to watch a show?
I gazed down at the remote and pressed the button that said TV on it. We had contact, baby!
Brightly coloured people appeared on the screen unusually short and wide much to my delight. I played with the settings and managed to get them looking fairly normal.
And the manual sat before me taunting me. Yes, I will read it. Just not at that moment.
My home once again resembled a war zone. I stared at my kitchen and loathed the idea of cooking. I had tested my mental acuteness and the idea of cooking just seemed a rather exhausting task, hence, I invited a Pizza into my home.
As I nibbled on the cheesy goodness and watched ‘True Grit” on the Tele, I assured myself that I would go for a run in the morning.
At 7:00 AM I woke to the sound of rain falling outside.
People, I ran in my heart! Truly I would have but hey, this induction back into running in the dark of morning just can’t begin with a torrential rainfall in the mix.
But yes, it is time to hit the gym and get back to training in earnest.
I had a lovely celebration with my daughter and her boyfriend. My daughter cooked her first Turkey dinner. She was insistent from the outset to do all of this on her own with no assistance from moi.
I smiled in pleasure as she swore like a banshee as she tried to extract the food she’d stuffed into her too small apartment oven. In the end everything was delightfully delicious.
This was a great Christmas. The last few years I’ve felt the strains of battle. The continuous fight with depression, issues with my heart and the battle with cancer. The residue effect has been felt over the last few Christmas seasons but always I’ve been with those that I love dearly and for that I am so blessed!
This Christmas I felt as though we’d come through that darkness and a promise is beckoning. I just have to stop and read the directions.
I am rebuilding and I’m back on track.
On the morrow I have my reading tasks set out. Not too sure still why I feel I should know that which I do not. Perhaps I’m simply human after all.