Today marks the third anniversary of this blog. I’ve stayed pretty much true to the purpose of its existence and over the course of time and I have written some pretty good stuff. I have offered up some rather deep and profound insights on my posts. Some have been funny, others have expressed anger. Poetry has been spewed forth and I have indeed babbled a lot on this forum. While some posts have been well written, other posts have been a little on the mediocre side. Errors abound throughout many of them. Oye!
I read my first post for example that does indeed have a number of grammatical errors in it.
I thought of going back and making corrections but decided against this.
One of the reasons I started this blog was to exercise my chops as a wordsmith. If I can go back now and see where a post could have potentially been great then I’ll leave the lesson in tack.
December 6th, 2011 I went in for my heart procedure. The following day I began this blog and one year ago today I finished up cancer treatment. At this time a year ago I was violently sick as a result of the radiation treatments.
As 2014 began, the idea that the memory loss which I had incurred as a result of chemotherapy could possibly be permanent, brought to life a fear like none I’ve ever known. Would I be able to continue with all the plans that I’d had in place prior to this interruption in my life?
And no one knew this fear that I had. I could not give it voice as then it would be much too real.
I slipped into denial so easily refusing to accept what was happening to my physical body. And of course, by doing this the rest of my being suffered the impact as well. It really has just been in the last few months that I’ve actually come to terms with everything and thankfully my memory has returned full force as well.
It was strange emerging from the fog cancer patients affectionately call ‘chemo brain’. Stranger yet, was reviewing some of the work I’d done in that state. Things that normally don’t even require any thought at all, things that are so ingrained they are done habitually were challenged. And somewhere in that fog I tried desperately to connect the dots of reason.
I’ve corrected the majority of the work but there are a couple of entries at the engineer’s office where I’ve just offered up a simple fix as I’ve no idea what my line of thinking was at that time. It’s not a big deal. I am only $283.47 out. I think I know what happened but at this point it’s not worth the time and effort to try to uncover this mystery and again I only think I know. When the year wraps I’ll send a note to the accounting firm that provides the audit every year.
Sometimes we need to look back to see how far we’ve come. There is a benefit too in that if similar behaviours still exist how are they masking themselves?
I’ve a lot to do in the next month. I’ve a book to release and a campaign to put together.
Christmas is fast approaching and I really need to buckle down and get this put together. As we speak, the tree is up but the place is a mess. I’ve decorations littering the living room and kitchen. My office has gift ideas spread throughout as they are in their infancy at this point. Cards await my attention and I’ve got two events this weekend that are in the spirit of the season.
On Thursday evening some friends of mine met a restaurant known as the Libra Room on Commercial Drive. Marco, who is my girlfriend’s son, bought the restaurant earlier in the year. We had a great time. The food was fabulous and the company even better! Great way to kick off the Christmas season!
Yesterday we had out Christmas lunch at work. Later I hit the gym on my way home from work. The plan had been to tackle the Christmas cards in earnest but a gentle exhaustion enveloped me so I curled on the sofa to watch a few shows deciding to take a bit of break.
I’ve been having issues with the signal on my TV as it keeps cutting out. So I made the call and an hour and a half later after having a lovely fellow in Guatemala trying to program my TV, I resolved that the cards would have to be done today. Oh, and the TV is still losing the signal. Probably needs a new modem. I’ll have to call again but this will have to wait.
I will be meeting with my trainer shortly. I’ve had a good week. I’m really starting to feel tight again. One of my co-workers mentioned yesterday that she definitely could see a difference. So I shall endeavor.
Over the last five years I’ve changed how I live this life that I’ve been afforded. Having lived the majority of my life in a manner that I thought I deserved, I challenged that notion and decided to go after the life I wanted.
We are conditioned from the cradle on what we should want from this life and I accepted that for a long time.
Now its time to move forward in a big way.
Enjoy your day! Peace.