Now or Never!


We’ve all done it and said it.  “I’ll do it later”.

Sometimes a moment comes along and if you don’t grab it then it will slip away.

In other words, sometimes ‘later’ never comes.

Over the last few years I’ve struggled with health issues.  The life I had been working so hard to build seemingly began to crumble.  Heart issues, Uterine Cancer and a vehicle accident that has left me with a mucked up back and pain that is now a part of my life.

The toughest aspect was the depression that once again reared its ugly head.

I felt like I was in a sinkhole and the harder I tried to get out of it the faster I was going down.

I stopped the fight and lingered for a time as I floated on a sea of despair.

The ‘Why me?’ and ‘I’ll do it later’ crept into my mindset once again.

The thing of it is I despise feeling this way.  I’ve come too far to let all I’ve worked for just fade to black.

Time to take that chance…fly without a net.

You’ll never know unless you just say ‘YES!’ to now.

 

via Daily Prompt: Later

Take a Moment…Just Breathe!


I’ve not been posting very often these days…I know.

I’ve been transitioning in a big way.  Trying to correct some of my behaviors and inevitably some of the choices made as a result. I am seeking remedies to assist in getting back on track.

The last few years have been tough with regard to the health issues and yet I know that life can be like that.  There are no guarantees.

As stated previously, I sold my home of six years back in late April 2016. I then found my new residence.  For six weeks I bunked with my daughter.

I’ve been in the new place for just over two months.  I’m still settling in.  I had family members who were ill and found my free time spent  at the hospital.

This mindset that I’ve been experiencing is strange though.  I’m a bit loosey goosey.

With all the medical tests now out of the way the prognosis is clear.

I’M GONNA LIVE!!!

Best that I get to it then.  The leaves on the trees outside my window have gone from lush green to yellow and gold.  Time to hunker down and finish up a book or two.

 

 

A Look Back


Christmas wish 028

I’ve been puttering about the house, trying to get a few much overdue projects taken care of.

I curled up on my sofa last evening with a glass of red and checked my email.  I then checked my blog.

I’ve not been as engaged with my writing lately as I would like.   Not too sure as to why.  All I can say is this has been a year with many challenges.

I began to read some old posts I’d written.  Perhaps they would inspire me as I’ve been in a bit of slump with pretty much everything it seems.

I read about running on Friday morning’s and my heart ached.  I want to get out there once again.  Then I read some excerpts from when I was training for the BMO 1/2 Marathon.

Christmas wish 009

The initial goal was mapped out and then came the health issues.  A fear had begun to creep in around that time and it is all chronicled.  From the initial feeling that something was wrong, through the tests, through the triumph of the race followed very swiftly by the devastation in learning the reality of my condition.

“You’ve got Cancer”.

At times it is difficult to read some of the things I’ve written on here.  There are many drafts that I’ve never published and I won’t.  They’ll be removed now. These were the proposed posts that really captured my fear.  Slide5

The fear that was never spoken aloud or acknowledged during treatment.

It was the fear of having my life cut short by this thing. What happens to you psychologically can be just as devastating as the illness itself.

This blog has been many things and I am preparing a post to celebrate a very important milestone.

Lately though, I’ve been looking back at just how far I’ve come over the last five years or so and I realize too that I’ve only got this moment.

Best that I use it fully, completely.

 

 

Fire in the Sky!


blue moon July31, 2015 029

The Blue Moon on July 31, 2015 taken from New Westminster, BC

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 021Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 014

I was off to take photographs with my group of the Celebration of Light on its 25th Anniversary!

August 1, 2015

A lovely sunset preceded the event.

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 027Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 035

The point of view is from the Burrard Street Bridge which overlooks the West End of Vancouver. The boats are gathering for the festivities!

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 045

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 069Above is Vancouver’s Westend.  The masses are forming.  Tonight will attract close to 500,000 people.

 

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 063

 

 

 

 

Let the show begin!  This production was put on by Canada.  A team from Winnipeg put this baby together. and they would have the honours of being the best in show!

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 088

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 070

 

 

 

 

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 074

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 077

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 079

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 082

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 089

An explosive delight!

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 066

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 084

Magnificent colours!  It doesn’t happen often, however, no breeze was on hand and a cloud of smoke soon formed over the barge.  Our vision was at times obscured.

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 090

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 118

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 123

Despite this, the show was fabulous!  I am learning more and more regarding these type of photo sessions.  I had a blast!

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 125

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 132

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 133

Dynamic and dramatic!

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 135

 

Fireworks Aug 1, 2015 152

I hope you’ve enjoyed this photographic journey.  It was a pleasure to behold!

Why This Title?


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “All About Me.”

I chose this title “The Power of One” for one reason only.  To affect change of any kind in this world it starts with you.  It begins with your attitude, how you move through each day.

Do you acknowledge the homeless guy you see each day or do you walk past him?

If you see someone in tears do you stop and ask if they’re okay or do you look away?

These are simple shifts in awareness.  Solving any issue begins with accepting the problem and how it came to be there.

Of course, the remedy is never easy and can be quite complex.  Still working toward making this world a better place has become a big part of who I am.

And surrendering to a loving and forgiving heart was how I began this journey.

Peace.

It’s been quite the Year! 2014 in review


The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,500 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 42 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

See Me


She walked down Robson Street with the iPhone held well in front of her.

Smiling coyly she giggled then changed the position of the phone.  Not once did her eyes leave the screen.

1b0c9ee5-f0a3-40a7-b212-5d03c3e91318HiRes

I was leaving Starbuck’s and she very nearly collided with me.  Of this fact, I can assure you, she was very unaware.  I watched her for a moment then realized that she was making a video selfie.

And what I wondered was she going to do with this piece of cinematic excellence?

What role was she playing in that head of hers?

Dangerous this self absorption the younger sect seems to have with these toys of ours.

imagesFTG0UZDR

Narcissistic and vain.

We all seem to be connected like never before and yet when I look at the lot of us we’ve never been lonelier.

IMG_1044

Many of us hide behind computer screens selling an image to the world, but of what an why?

Remnants of a twisted Oz filter through. The illusion of grandeur and power being sold to a faceless audience.

Fine, you’re in your early 20’s and you are smokin’ hot.  You work out, dress impeccably, hair and makeup are polished to beyond perfection.

So?

Looks will fade. It’s a simple fact of life really.

Our society will tell you that you don’t have to take aging lying down.  Well, if I have a beautiful man above me doing all kinds of wonderful things to my body, I’ll take lying down any day, thanks.

Point being, we all grow old.  Don’t fear it.  If you’re so consumed by your appearance you just might forget to actually live.

All those memories, events and experiences, good and bad that occur during your time here will shape who you ultimately become.  You’re at the helm.  Know this and embrace it.  Pay it forward.

Recently I read an article that stated people who take selfies of themselves all the time are indeed suffering from a mental illness.

I suppose it could be viewed as obsessive behaviour.  Still I just scratched my head.   And what are these phones doing to us?

Women who’ve stored them in their bra have now been found with tumours in their breast tissue resembling the shape of the phone.

My first question was why are they storing them in their bras to begin with?

7162273337_998d688f44

It just seems to be so strange in that we are all supposed look fabulous, regardless of age.  Sex is supposed to be from infinity and beyond each and every day, several times a day and our first job should pay for all the accruements necessary to purchase a condo downtown, dress like a runway model and travel half the year.

And those are just the basics, apparently.

images4GBM7VPFimages552IE2Y3

Then I pick up a magazine and women claim that they prefer chocolate to sex.

Alrighty, then.

Something just may be amiss in this utopian dream of ours.

I finished up at the architectural firm today.  I’m leaving it in stellar condition.  I slipped out the door for the final time with a mix of emotions.  I’ve met and worked with some fabulous people.

I’ve worked for an asshole.  But gracious as ever I walked into his office and shook his hand and gave him a hug.  He was quite taken aback by this.  I thanked him for the opportunity that he had afforded me and expressed that I’d learned a great deal.

With a rather bemused expression on his face he said he hoped I would land on my feet.  I offered a rather wry smile now and informed him that I already had then I took my leave.

Sadly, in the five plus years I worked there he never really saw me.

I bid my adieu to the second partner and when I thanked him he teared up.  He knows just as well as I do the injustice that has been committed.  There were a lot of words in those eyes.  Words that he would swallow because he always does.

When I showed him the administrative and accounting set up earlier in the afternoon he looked terrified.  How is he going to remember all of this when he’s popping oxycotin like its candy to try and relieve the pain that he’s living with constantly.

So much potential in that place to be extraordinary, but it will never happen.

I left knowing I did a good job.  I left knowing that despite the trials I’d risen above them.

There is no malice in my heart.  I am free.  I can claim the life that waits for me now and I will do just that with humility and grace.

I’ve still so much to learn in this life.

imagesVG7ALQJ5

I thought back to the home movies my dad took of my sister’s and I during our formative years.

They are kind of silly.  We just stand there looking at the camera. Lorraine had a habit, if she’d been left out of a scene, to walk nonchalantly (and quite obviously) back and forth before it.   Norma it seemed was always eating salt and vinegar potato chips.

I was usually trying to drown a floatation device or doing something nervously foolish while the camera recorded it.

Dad would take a movie lasting some ten minutes in length of a far away bear rummaging through garbage while we were driving on a highway somewhere in BC.

Images of fish caught, of turkeys cooked, of babies being bathed, of parties occurring have been committed to celluloid.  The Brownie Eight had a really bright light and quite often those in front of the camera are squinting pathetically at it.  Faces screwed up comically in an effort to try and look…cool?

Now when an event happens we have instant footage.  Someone, if not many, will pull out an iPhone or Android to record the event.  This was never more evident than when the twin towers fell in New York back in 2001.

They didn’t show too many images after the fact of those who were jumping from the towers.

But during the event, the sensationalism of its horrific unfolding held us all in its wake.

Those in the tower had just a few options in directing their death that they knew would occur that day.

Burn or jump.  I would think jumping would ultimately be far less painful.

I can recall the media zooming in on a young man who was captured catapulting out the building, freefalling, likely having a million things running through his head as death enveloped him.

But there it was.  Freeze framed. They zoomed in trying to determine who he was.‘

imagesQR6VU7S4

‘Don’t’. I whispered to the television screen. For those who knew and loved him…don’t let that be the image they have of him.

There’ve been a number of plane crashes this week and we’ve been inundated with images of burnt out aircraft.

Apparently one of the crash sites was being looted.

I found my brows becoming furrowed as I pondered what you would loot from the site of a plane crash.

And what are we doing?  I want to have a positive impact, yet sometimes our conduct in this world frightens me.

And as I stood transfixed for a moment this morning watching this girl move like a shadow down the street I wondered did she ever see and feel the beauty around her?

Driving in today I was again overwhelmed by the rich and lush area that I inhabit. I am so blessed to be able to call this home.

And did this girl think she was all that?

And what exactly does this mean?

This life is a subjective one filled with so many subtleties.  And it is the little things that make all of this worthwhile.

 

God knows I am so glad I was not consumed with my appearance, that I didn’t place my value as a human upon this attribute.  I would have been in some kinda deep shit when I woke up last year and found that I shared a strong likeness to the alien of Roswell fame.

And to all of you beautiful people out there, please see those of who stand in the shadow of your illustrious ‘greatness’.

And I hope when you do get old (and you will) that you’ll have developed some substance.   Now, go break that mirror.

In case you didn’t know…everything you see in it is backwards.   J