Alright then, the title is a play on words from a Billy Ocean song from years past. The idea that sometimes I am too much in my head…that I over analyse a situation or an idea. I’ve been accused of this many times.
And yes, dammit! I confess! It’s true.
I’m sitting here on this beautiful Sunday morning with the window to my office open. I’ve had a thousand things running through this head of mine as I stare at the computer screen. I should go for a walk.
I should write more.
I should plan my out my seven minute speech on sex, though I already know what it is I plan to discuss, however, I want to leave the audience, which will be Douglas College students, with a thoughtful impression.
I want to discuss ‘consent’. This word gets bandied about quite a bit in sexual assault cases.
It isn’t relevant what someone is ‘into.’ What is important is that they discuss this with their potential partners.
Of course, I’m thinking about the Jian Ghomeshi trial that recently wrapped up. He was aquitted as the three women who came forward were considered ‘deceptive & manipulative’ in their evidence.
This is where Ghomeshi should have enlightened the women as to what his sexual preferences are. Now, some women may be curious, just as some men would be about trying something a little risky.
It is, however, imperative that if you know that your sexual preferences could be considered outside the ‘normal’ realm, then you need to convey this to potential partners. Never mind that….we all need to talk to our partners!
In short, each of us, men and women, have a responsibility to NOT make assumptions.
The other thing I want to discuss is the shame factor and the way by which women are still ‘blamed’.
I call it this because in many ways it is just that. Phrases such as ‘she was asking for it’ come to mind. Or ‘look how she was dressed’.
If someone, anyone is dressed provocatively this is not an invitation to be sexally exploited. If someone is highly intoxicated or on drugs of some kind, then consent is really not possible.
Women are sexually assaulted all the time. The majority do not come forward. Many feel they brought it on themselves. They’d had one too many and made a few really bad choices. Choices that will unfortunately have an impact on them for the rest of their lives.
And here we are in the 21st Century. We’ve been to space and back and we’ve developed amazing technologies. Yet when it comes down to interacting with each other on a fundamental level the great divide still exists.
Well time to get back to doing tax stuff. Enjoy your day.