Dyke Rd. in Richmond, BC Feb. 16, 2016
I’ve been absent from this forum. I know.
Yet surely you’ve experienced those moments when a thousand words fought for a voice within you. Thoughts and ideas raced at break-neck speed wanting to take shape yet you kept them in the shadows.
I’ve been in that mind set as of late.
Writing projects, good ones, halted. Why? I don’t know.
I’m filling up my schedule. More demands. More commitments. More challenges. Why? I don’t know.
I stare at the screen and type a few words then question their meaning. Why? I don’t know.
Direction and balance are the things that I’m seeking. And while I understand, to some degree why, I can say I really am not certain where to go from here.
A year ago I released my book. And I am so proud and humbled by this achievement. The last year was a tough one though. An vehicle accident messed up my back and a work situation became intolerable as a result.
Agony. It is nothing new.
Why then did I simply accept it as fact?
Change came as it must.
Am I trying to organize my life too much? Perhaps.
What I must distinguish is the things that I can influence and the things that I can only pray and hope will change. Then I need to point myself in the right direction.
And that, my friends, is the $64,000 dollar question. Which way?
The rain is falling. Been raining a lot as of late.
And I want, I need…
So many things, so many patches have covered this makeshift heart of mine that simply loves and expands.
Mornings find me buying Tom (our local schizophrenic) his coffee then searching for the sunrise.
I drive past absurd estates in Richmond on my way to work then find myself driving along the rivers edge.
Herons, Eagles, Seagulls, Crows, etc. fly in uniform.
And always I’m treated to and blessed by the differences that each day offers.
Photographs are taken as I take in the beauty and challenge of each day.
And I wish…God knows, I wish…
Never say ‘what if?’
Every once in a while though, I say just that.
I’m still here. Still looking at this world each day with wonder, still wanting, still needing, still hoping…