The First Month


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 The sky over English Bay – Sept 5, 2014

Today marks one month on the new job and it has gone by in a blink.  Nothing unusual about this though.  Time seems to move far more swiftly when we are enjoying ourselves, does it not?

I will have a very full pallet over the next few months.  Of this I have no doubt.  The job is beginning to take shape and I like the vision that is emerging.  There is going to be a great deal to organize and co-ordinate and I am embracing the challenge like never before.  I became incredibly excited today as we met with a rep from the software company that is designing and building a new program platform for the office set to launch on November 1, 2014.

There was an absolute thrill that ran through me.  This is the opportunity I’ve long waited for.  To learn, evolve, grow and expand with a company at the root level of an expansion.  I love it!  Today seemed to pass quicker than most and my neurons are fired up on all cylinders.

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Flying off into the sunset!

 

I will be meeting up with my photography group shortly to take in and capture what will be a fabulous sunset.  Summer is fading fast.  I’ve not spent near the amount of time outside that I would have preferred.

I stopped at Moxie’s on Davie Street for a nibble.  I’ve not been here in quite some time.  I sat watching the masses as they moved up and down this busy corridor.  Some are tourists, some are locals that live in the area, while others are getting off work and either meeting up with friends or heading home.

Then there are those who’ve taken a wrong turn in life and kept on going.   I feel a sadness when I see someone who has made this choice.

A man stood on the street a moment ago screaming at what and at whom I cannot say.  I could feel his frustration and anger from some 100 feet or more away.  For many they get into the drugs or alcohol or both to numb whatever pain is chasing them.   Oh sure, I would imagine there are those who fall into it innocently enough and become their addiction’s slave, but many who take this route are looking to dull or nullify something.

The problem is that you can become so numb to everything in this organic world of ours that you no longer find any of it desirable.  Somehow being in a drug induced and/or artificial haze is comparable to living.  And when you system is screaming at you to stop and you don’t….well, then you just keep falling.

Rock bottom can certainly vary.

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I will say this though, falling hurts.  Falling has a weight attached to it that becomes increasingly heavier the further you fall.  It’s not easy to crawl back up to the surface but it can be done.  Many, however, don’t make it.

So like the fellow I saw a short time ago whose hair was unkempt and the clothes on his back had likely not been laundered in a good long while, many of these lost souls scream and blame the world around them and the people that are in it for the circumstance and station in life.

Many walked past him seemingly oblivious to the man’s outrage, while other gave him a very wide berth.  None stopped to ask if he required help.  I would not have stopped either.

It is a delicate thing when someone is releasing hostile emotions in a public setting.  There is something decidedly primal about it.  Showing concern or empathy toward this individual could well be misconstrued.  Also if you are not certain of a person’s state it might well be best to call in authorities who can assist him.   And sometimes we just have to let someone scream and rant should they choose to do so.

I headed down to the beach and met up with the group.  For a good hour or so I crawled along the beach taking photographs.

And what a stunningly beautiful sunset it was!  This is a place that speaks to my heart on such an intimate level.  I’ve screamed tormented and frustrated here.  I’ve cried tears of shame, tears of loneliness and tears of heartache.  I’ve been spellbound by the beauty of this place more times that I could ever count and I have I felt a life force so strong and how it has run through me…

I thought about getting my toes wet but signs were up.

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“Do Not Swim”

We’ve had a few red tides this year.  Algae was blooming crimson a few months back.  Normally walking along the surf wouldn’t bother me even with the red tide in effect.  However, I am still toxic from the whole cancer thing so best err on the side of caution.

And as the sun kissed the day good-bye a beautiful moon was slipping into the sky.  And I just felt so fabulous, so blessed.

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The sunset at Sunset Beach, Vancouver, BC  – Sept 5, 2014

 

The last few mornings on the drive in to work the trees have had a mist hanging tight to them below a clear blue sky.  I was sitting at a red stop light thinking how dreamy and enchanting this world I was waking to looked.  Out came the phone and I tried to capture what I was seeing, what I was feeling.  The guy honking his horn behind made me realize I ought not to be doing this.  It was now a green light.  But I smiled a little foolishly and cranked up the tunes and sang the rest of the way to work.

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And I am pumped!

The thought process has been invigorated, challenged and invited to jump in there and get things done.

John, one of the owners, got back from a two week vacation this week. I brought him up to date on my observations and progress to date.

He smiled quite pleased.  “I wanted someone who would roll up their sleeves and get the job done and you are doing just that.  Thank you.”

That was an affirmation that he had hired the right person in my mind.  He was well aware that things were in a state of disarray.  No accountant for three months and those inputting the info with no knowledge of accounting principles?

I’ll say this. Shannon did a bang up job despite no knowledge of accounting.  She has the intelligence there, she just has to work on her confidence.

One thing I have learned is that I don’t hold on to places that had no real investment in me in the first place.  Yes, you may meet a few people with whom you develop friendships that extend past the workplace, but if an establishment doesn’t value me then it won’t work.  That has become a factor that is very important to me in the last few years.

I’ve written about the architectural firm I was at; of how I got shot down on every level.  Just hearing the word ‘thank you’ is so appreciated.

Far too many businesses just expect.  You are just a number there to perform…nothing more.  And I guess this is what pisses me off.  We are people.  We have feelings. We love, we hurt, we fear, we laugh, we cry…

And we spend the majority of our daily lives at the workplace.

I, for one, want to enjoy how I expend my grey matter.  I will say this, I’ve always honoured the job and I always will.

And as I wrap this evening… the one month anniversary of my start date at the new place, I’m feeling light and breezy.

I’ve been having insane dreams for the last few weeks.  I wrote about one a few days ago.  But man, I’ve been wondering if it has to do with all the intense feelings I’ve lent myself to over the last three months.

Hey, it’s been a ride.  I was given five weeks notice from my previous place of employment on the one year anniversary of having had my surgery for cancer.

Their timing was fucking impeccable.

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Checking out the moon

 

The range of emotions I reined in quickly.  Within three weeks I had secured the job I’m at now.  Still, the adjustment can be taxing. But I’m a trooper.  Always have been, always will be.

This is likely why dreamland has been off the charts as of late.  I won’t analyze the thing.  I’ll just move on and continue to grow.

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Last night, for me, this was the mooney shot!

 

Pleasant dreams and many blessings to all of you.

Never be afraid to challenge yourself and never feel incapable.

If there is something that you want to know, it is there and you will know it.  Someone else’s interpretation may well not fit your definition so don’t ever give up.

 

Find your authentic truth and let it grow.

Peace!

 

 

 

 

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