I’ve been visiting the dark side of the moon these days. That lonely, cold void that feels like terminal infinity.
For that reason alone my posts on here have been few and far between. I don’t want to be on here ranting all the time and bleeding out emotionally.
I’ve been doing my bloodletting sparingly. Plus I really don’t want to depress anyone. Bad enough to be feeling out of sorts. Thanks for all the positive feed back and love though. I really appreciate all of you who’ve reached out. It helps tremendously.
I will be setting up some counselling sessions this week. Hopefully I will garner a little more insight into the current cesspool that I’ve found myself in.
So I’m going to make a concerted effort to be a little lighter, a little brighter. I’ll paste a smile on face and make it stay there, dammit!
On to the brighter side of life. It may not be shining brilliantly in this life of mine at the moment but a little rain is necessary at times.
It’s the wind I can’t stand. At the moment it’s cloudy but far more appealing than the desolation of the moon.
I signed on to run my 5th Sun Run on Sunday.
I am actually feeling incredibly emotional about the run this year.
This event has come to mark so many life moments in terms of growth and milestones.
Last year I was celebrating having a healthy heart. I was also running for Boston after the tragedy that occurred at last years marathon.
What I didn’t know as I ran the race last year is that I had cancer.
I will begin again. This time free of illness. My physical self has gone through punishing treatment in the last year and it shows. The emotional side is a wee bit tender these days as well.
I went for a massage a couple of weeks back. Foolishly I asked for a really firm rub down. I wanted all the kinks and knots worked out. No, this was not going to be a nice and relaxing experience.
Reflecting on this now I should have requested something a little gentler. But I didn’t.
She steamrollered me. Got her elbows in and worked out each and every knot, kink and strain that existed. Afterward my muscles felt as if a meat mallet had pounded them out. I was ready to be barbecued, baked, roasted…!
It took a good week to recover. The good news the knots and kinks are gone!
Another cool offering is that I was asked to share my story with the Rick Hansen Foundation. I participated in the 25th Anniversary Relay a couple of years ago. I received an email a few weeks ago and have been working on a very abbreviated version of this life o’ mine.
I want the premise of the story to be focused on the nurturing spirit of forgiveness and love. A brief nod to the hardships but I won’t dwell on them.
I’ve been dwelling too much on the hardships. And I don’t want to be in this space any longer. I will smile ’til it hurts and laugh even if it is inappropriate.
Actually I better not do that. It gets me into too much trouble.
I’m on the mend and on the rise. Here’s to brighter days ahead.