Just Checking In: Where Does Love Go?


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I’ve seen it happen time and again as well as experiencing it first hand.

A beautiful union takes place then blossoms and love erupts.  For reasons that are at times obvious, but more often than not, confounding, one person finds that the love has faded and they walk away from the relationship.  In some cases, they run.

I am of the mind if you are fortunate to find love then fight to keep it.  Exhaust all options before letting it go.  Hmmm!  Perhaps that’s why I’m still single.

I say this in jest, however, I was at times a little…let’s see how shall I put this….frightening?

When I was younger, relationships were a complete mystery to me.  I had no idea how to play the game per sae.  Still, in those moments when love appeared between the thorns, I was insatiable in my desire to consume it.

The men in my life typically broke it off,  though I walked away on a few occasions as well. Finding myself in deep and feeling incredibly vulnerable scared the hell out of me at the time.  Also, I could not handle confrontation or conflict at all.

Key components in any relationship.

Taming my emotions can be a tough thing for me.  Once triggered what erupts verbally is anyone’s guess.  The tongue becomes a tangled mess resulting in genuine babble.  The thing is I know what’s triggering me and yet I cannot prevent the spillage from occurring.

Fortunately this doesn’t happen very often anymore.

Love has become quite the market though with shows like The Bachelor or The Bachelorette.  Movies depict people going through a painful breakup and they are immediately inundated by family and friends to find someone new.

It almost seems that you’re something of a pariah if you are not actively seeking a relationship should you be unfortunate enough to be single.

We are all expected to live happily ever after.

I’ve seen relationships where I wondered if any love ever existed from the outset as the couple have such a hate on for each other.  Somewhere the thing derailed and became incredibly toxic.  Why couples stay in it to this point makes little sense though money and material assets seems to be a key factor.

Then there are the relationships where so much love still exists.  Those are the ones that are so hard to see die out. It’s in the eyes, the want, the need.  Yet a wall has gone up that the couple just can’t get past.

So where does that love go?  I know that I can look back some thirty odd years and wish I’d done things differently.  The love that I had for a particular man still exists to this day.  I have reconciled it, however, there is no going back.  Should I be fortunate enough to find love again then I will bring it all forward.

Memories are the cornerstones of our lives.  They are uniquely ours and cannot be taken away.  They direct and influence us in many ways as well.  Good and bad.

Love drives us all. We all want it.  We all need it. I suppose today it seems to be a commodity of sorts.  Perhaps we should learn to value this emotion a little more, nurture it and truly feel it.

And one can only hope that love will find it’s way back again.Autumn 2013 109

Enjoy your day and thanks for stopping by.

Peace.

 

 

 

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