A few years ago I was gripped by an awakening of monumental proportions. I was certain there was no going back. I had found the path to enlightenment and I was dancing dizzily into the light. I wandered along merrily dipping my toes into this modality and that modality.
I was intoxicated with the energy that ripped through me on a daily basis. The mind was so fertile just waiting for the seeds I had so carefully planted and nurtured to blossom. Thoughts were turning into ideas and these began to just explode.
How do I contain this or is it even possible? How do I channel the energy into factual results? How do I take this and turn it into life?
There is something to be said for such awareness. It’s rather static in a sense.
Having mapped out where I thought I was on this life journey of mine, I began to focus on the areas that I really needed to work on. I jumped into a vacuum of workshops designed to help me find the directions that were necessary to continue on in my evolution. Many of the workshops I first checked out held very little purpose for me personally. Eventually though I found the ones that targeted the areas that had me all tangled up.
And as I puzzled my way through, I had some stellar moments of clarity and insight.
I had this sensation that everything was new and fresh. Things that I saw and experienced everyday suddenly seemed so very different. I was looking at everything in a way never before.
For a good year I basked in this warm glow of discovery. Every morning held a sunrise never before witnessed and every night held dreams never before imagined.
I derived joy from the simplest of things. Yes, I was definitely way up on the happiness scale.
It is, however, highly unlikely for anyone to remain in such a state of perpetual happiness. Oh, you can be content and balanced and experience the quiet joy each day brings you. Of this I have no doubt.
When that year of incredible awakening began to wane I didn’t panic and try desperately to hang on to it. I simply let it go. Everything moves in cycles, including me.
I’ve been considering how to deal with my verbal expressions. Time to peruse some workshops that are beneficially in this regard. I think too, I wouldn’t mind improving upon my listening skills as well.
I am good at listening. Too often though, I’ll jump ahead and begin offering up solutions that were never requested. There is this innate desire to fix the issue, correct the problem, have the remedy all laid out with a set of instructions to boot.
So the challenge is to take these well meaning ways of mine and turn them into something that is a little more solid and subdued. A little more grounded maybe.
I don’t have to save the world. And if I did, would everyone like it?
And then a rather intriguing thought slipped in as I was writing this post. Perhaps, just perhaps I was becoming too focused on my self perceived shortcomings and blockages. Seemingly I got the idea that there were just these few things that still needed ‘correction’ and then I would simply shine like the North star on a cloudless night.
Before me a thousand images moved randomly. Each began as a pinhole now emerging as a collective that danced across the spans of time. Forward they moved restlessly, transposed, disposed, changing constantly they melted into each other. And I stood breathless, mesmerized. The images flowed into my being, merging now to become one.
And I was whole.
Time to re-boot the mission.