And so it is done…


Radiation treatment is done.  I cancelled the remaining sessions.  This week each treatment seemed to compound my ratings on the crap-o-meter expotentially.  Radiation sickness set in big time.  Nausea, vomiting, fever, freezing, diarrhea, bloating, fatigue, etc.

And this is preventative medicine?  I could very well be cancer free and still I am enduring this?

Had I continued with treatment the symptoms noted above would only become worse.  Yesterday I felt like death.  I wasn’t about to try and build on that sensation.  My doctor told me to listen to my body and it was screaming at me to stop this treatment.

Throughout the course of this whole cancer thing I have never felt as bad as I did yesterday.  Not even close.  Even after surgery, I had energy and rebounded quickly.

This I could not reconcile.  That food was not staying down, that my lower belly was in constant pain and the exhaustion.  My pelvic region just feels raw inside.  And we are trying to kill a few possible cancer cells that may or may not be floating around?

Radiation was by far the worst treatment for this girl.

Now I just want to focus on healing and getting healthy.

I am at peace with my decision to end treatment at the half way mark.  I had an in depth conversation with the doctor and asked about the number 25.  That was the number of treatments recommended.  It is an average.  I made it to 12 rounds.  That will have to suffice.

And so it is done.

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4 thoughts on “And so it is done…

  1. I would have done the same if it was affecting me like that… Radiation has far greater effects than people give it credit for.. Chemo and radiation are to kill off any roaming cancer cells but they blast everything else in their path too!! Now you can truly recover from this whole experience but it does take time to get back to where you were… The main thing that stayed with me for a long time was tiredness… One step at a time.. Sending a hug…

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    • Thanks Helen. I had researched the radiation sickness and boy, when it hits, it hits hard. I could not imagine continuing on with treatment and feeling worse than I already did. I am so looking forward to building my health back up and yes, I know I do have start again. That’s okay though. I can do it cancer free now.

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    • Thanks Joada,

      Its going to have be enough. I am sure it is. I think if I’d gone the full 25 rounds can’t say I would have survived. And I think that’s the point. I was encouraged to listen to my body. They simply give an average of treatments, but ultimately it’s my decision. And I really think at this point that I am most definitely cancer free. Your well wishes are very much appreciated.

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