Radiance


It has been an odd week for me.  I started radiation therapy and so far I just feel tired.  There are the idiginities that come with the territory. If I had any modesty, and I just may have had a smidgin, it disappears pretty damn quick.  I walked into the treatment room through a door made of metal that is about a foot thick. 

Memories of Mr. Spock from Star Trek being exposed to radiation came to mind as he and Captain Kirk gazed at each other through a sheet of plexiglass and his face bubbled up as he slid to his death.

Eyeing the beast I wondered what would happen if this monster machine went crazy on me? 

Basically the drill is to show up with an empty rectum and full bladder.  My concern is not the full bladder easy enough to suck back a couple of glasses of water.  They have reassured me that if I can’t empty my bottom on my own, they will assist me with this. 

How charming!

Next they told me to drop my drawers.  Hell,  I don’t even have to take my shoes off!  Talk about a quicky!

It takes them about 15 minutes to ensure that my body parts are where they are supposed to be and then they zap me for two minutes.  Today will be day 3 and I am already growing weary of the process.  I only have to do this another 22 times. 

And I am already having anxiety dreams about not being able rid myself of the solid waste in my body.  Nightmares will now ensue on their extraction methods, no doubt. 

The very fact that I am now preoccupied with the idea of going potty everyday I am sure you can see how this can cut into the creative process, yes?

During the first treatment day it took three trys before I got zapped and I drank 12 dixie cups of ice cold water resulting in brain freeze.  They took me out and showed the picture they took of me during the setup when I was tattooed and had little lead seeds planted in my vagina a few weeks back.

These body parts are to be in this same state each time I show up.

I was shown how my bladder and bowel looked currently and why they couldn’t do it until I had more water in me.  In truth, they looked pretty much the same to these pair of eyes but I do appreciate them wanting to educate me.  I wasn’t sure which shadow was my bladder and I sure the hell couldn’t tell if it had water in it. 

Talk about your 50 shades of….nah, lets not go there.

I do feel sleepy for a few hours in the afternoon. 

My energy has been lower than usual.  Last week’s head cold is gone but in terms of inspiration…hell,  it’s been a struggle.  I am drafting many chapters in my grey matter.  Got an idea for yet another book…a murder mystery.  Okay, maybe not even a mystery but I’m in rough shape if my lead character is killing people.

If there was a gadget to say how many words I’ve written in my head I would have passed the 50,000 mark about a week ago and I can bet there would have been a boat load of profanity mixed in those words!

So it is safe to say that unless I become a hermit and write for 7 days none stop I likely won’t hit the desired number and that’s okay. 

Perhaps it was a bit of stretch to contemplate it ‘unofficially’ in the first place.  I did not realize just how invasive the radiation treatment would be, but you learn something new everyday. 

Well, time to begin preparations for the beast of the machine to have its way with me. 

Toodles!

 

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