I sat down dutifully on Tuesday evening at the computer to get a few hours of writing in. So I began Chapter Six of the new book tentatively titled ‘Insomnia’s Dream’. Just over an hour later I stared at three paragraphs and decided I didn’t like them. I was at a loss for words.
I AM NEVER AT A LOSS FOR WORDS!
Then an odd little thought crept in and panic hit. I don’t have, dare I say it….’Writer’s Block’ do I?!
I’ll just whip up a post on my blog I decided. Sure shootin’ I was indeed at a loss for words. There has been any number of topics that had presented themselves to chat about. Thoughts were certainly tumbling about in my grey matter, and yet, I could not quite articulate what I wanted to say.
On Tuesday night, feeling defeated, I crawled into bed thinking about the hang-up I had with the chapter.
Last night was very much the same exercise but when I went to bed, I had something of an epiphany. I discovered something about myself as a writer. I can’t really get the flow going unless I have the scene I am writing about worked out in my head. Typically I have the entire chapter figured out then purge it onto the page.
Chapter six will begin with a really hot sex scene that involves food. I have not been satisfied with the presentations I have thought up. The preparation for the sex scene was coming off far too laborious. I really had to think about my characters and who they were and how I had presented them thus far.
Sex scenes shouldn’t be tedious. First, I was going to have the couple ‘do it’ on an ornate dining table. The male, Craig, who is a chef and few other things by trade, prepares the table with a rubber sleeve made specifically for the table.
Upon reading it back I screamed ‘No!’
Hell, if you’re going to have sex on a table top, you wouldn’t be concerned about getting food and other fluids on the table, now would you? And if the table is really that valuable…then you wouldn’t bother at all, would you?
I went through a few different scenarios before I found the sex play I wanted to explore. One that is fun, exciting and hopefully, a delight to read.
I thought back to a conversation I had at my writer’s group meeting last Friday. We were discussing NaNoWriMo and the idea of just pouring everything onto the page without stopping, without review. The idea is to just get the first draft out. Don’t worry about punctuation, don’t worry grammar, don’t worry about structure. Just get the idea, the bones of the story, out onto the page.
Reflecting on my style of writing, it occurred to me then that I have to have more than just the bones of the story in order to write. I need to see it, visualize it and then attempt to convey this vision to the reading public.
This will be the first fictional novel that I’ve written. Oh, I have had many ideas and begun various projects over the years that have found their way to the shelf. One day I will dust them off and breathe new life into them.
On this particular writing, however, I am losing my fictional virginity. What better way than to explore the complexities of how we become the sexual being that we do?
I am really enjoying this process of developing the characters. I want them to have depth and definition. I also want the reader to develop a relationship with the characters. My hope is that the reader will experience a variety of emotions as the story unfolds.
So I decided that I will indeed just write and total up the number of words at the end of the month and see where I end up. I won’t compromise the style by which I write. I looked at the average number of words in each chapter thus far and it ranges between 2,500 and 4,000 words. So I would have to write between 15 to 17 chapters in order to meet the 50,000 word goal.
Can’t say that’s going to happen but I will let you know how many words I managed to exhale in the telling of this tale over the month of November. That’s the back up plan.
It’s funny the pressure we put on ourselves, yes? I am glad that I opted to do this, albeit unofficially. I have already learned an important lesson and that is how I write. I need to develop the vision and the words will come.
As of today I’ve written 946 words…just 49,054 to go!
Enjoy your day!