“Perhaps the pollution of water is nothing more than the pollution of the human soul. Modern society has gone as far as we can go. What is to come of us now?”
I picked up a book yesterday titled ‘The Secret Life of Water’ by Masaru Emoto. The above is a quote from the introductory pages of the book. He has developed a close relationship with the spirit of water. As I read through the first few pages, and this is a small hand book of 178 pages with several photographs of water in a frozen state, this relationship became immediately apparent.
For me it sparked my own relationship, not just with water, but will all the elements. I definitely have a very close relationship with water as well. Considering how many times I fantasize about playing in mud puddles, dancing in the rain, dancing along the shore line…in the rain…without a stitch on. Yes, I find water incredibly beautiful and sensuous.
Then I wondered had we really disassociated ourselves that much from the basic elements that provide life to us? I got to thinking how even the elements are opposites. Fire and water, earth and air and everything that falls between these are indeed the very fabric of life, are they not?
Currently we are ruled by an economy that has only been in existence for a very short while. Technology has provided us all with a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips. The trick is navigating through all this information. I have gotten better at researching on the internet. Still, I have a long way to go.
Good to know I suppose. But even as I write this I know the times when I feel most alive occur when I feel connected to all that is around me. When I feel interchangeable with the trees, the air and the earth below my feet; when I feel the rain washing down on me there is a surge of pure joy and contentment in these experiences.
Usually I am on my own when I experience these things and I began to consider how it would feel to experience in this manner without inhibition alongside my fellow humans. Would there be freedom in this? To just feel so playful and childlike to enjoy the raw pleasure of life at its essence.
So many roles have been handed to me over the years. Some I have played well, others not so much. Why is it so hard at times to just be myself?
I have been instructed from birth, on what I should be as a woman and how I should behave.
Currently we are told how we should look and as society narrows the ideal somehow this need to meet this new standard seems to have gripped us. Age has become the new disease. Why?
I am gazing at my outside deck that has been sadly neglected this year. Pine cones litter the space along with leaves that have fallen from the surrounding foliage and are now curly and dried to a light brown. The Petunia that I kept going for several months has now gone to seed. I could have watered it more. Too many things on my mind these past few months and yet that is no excuse for not watering a plant. This has been one of the driest summers we’ve had in a good long while. Typically the rainfall assists me in this regard. Not this year. Still no excuse.
Did I drift away that much this year?
Yet I am trying to get things back on track. The bottom of my feet are still a little numb so begged off running this morning as I don’t know if running like this could in fact do damage. I will go for a good long walk and give the cancer agency a call tomorrow and see if they would advise running with numb feet.
I know the nurse mentioned during my chemo session last week that numbness in the fingers and toes could occur and if there was any real pain to let them know. In some cases permanent nerve damage can occur. So you can appreciate my hesitance in running. I don’t want to do anything that could damage me in such a manner. I have a love of running and want to do a whole lot more of it.
I can and will continue with the gym until my feet are feeling normal. Yoga helped quite a bit yesterday as well.
It is shaping up to be another beautiful day here on the west coast. I am going to putter around now and get to some of my domestic duties. I am feeling good, other than the foot thing. No pain, no nausea.
Last night I went to a friend’s house. She took me out for dessert and I had a fabulously fresh piece of blueberry pie. Yum! We then just headed back to her house and chatted for a while.
At some point we got into the conversation about conspiracy theories. People these days seem to be so easily swayed as to believing that certain tragedies were staged to occur. I said I didn’t want to entertain that line of thinking. I want to focus on the good in people rather than the bad.
Perhaps this thinking is naïve, but at the end of the day I want to marvel at our existence in this place rather than be suspicious of it. And as all the elements run through me, may I always be aware and appreciative of their gift. May I always know that I am connected to them and they are connected to me. And may I always feel love in abundance.