What Poison is This?


New York_2 909Subtle effects are now beginning to creep to the surface.  I had some cramping and queasiness in the late afternoon yesterday.  The Ginger Root Tea worked fabulously in offsetting this. The body felt a little achy so I took some Advil.  I have had no fever at all.

I slept quite well and had a decent little workout again this morning.  What I am noticing now is that my taste buds seem to have dulled.  There is this odd numbing feel to the body on such a subtle level…but it’s there.  This is expected, though I anticipated feeling this in a different manner.  Not too sure why but then I think we often try to anticipate how something will feel.

While on the stationary bike this morning I closed my eyes and focused on my breath.  I know these aches that I have been experiencing is the war that is now being waged in my flesh.  This toxic soup is on a search and destroy mission.

A remembrance of cartoon characters having swallowed something they ought not to, live and whole, and seeing their bodies being contorted and bent out of shape as the thing tried to get out came to mind.  I can identify with that about now.

So that’s where I am at today.  Feeling slightly yucky.  And you know, it’s okay.

What a beautiful morning though!  It is dark now when we leave the house.  My daughter having joined the ranks of the early morning workouts this week.  A beautiful moon hung heavy in the sky and along the highway the bushes and trees were shrouded in mist.  We were heading west so the sunrise chased us.

I love this time of the day.  I don’t know, there is a magic for me.  The transfer from night to day; a beautiful stillness occurs during this time.  Just before the sun peaks, it is as though everything is systematically energized and stands individually before the breaking day before blending back into their surrounding area.  I liken it to a kiss, a gentle salute.  Night slips away from that moment and the day has begun.

It is these wonderment’s that remind me of the beauty of this life.

Oh there is ugliness, make no mistake.  But as with everything beauty must have its opposite else we would not know it to be such.

And yes, I have this poison running through my system right now but it has a purpose.  I won’t reject it…just accept it and weather the storm. What waits for me at the end of this chapter….I don’t know, but it will be good.

Peace.

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3 thoughts on “What Poison is This?

      • Ginger is definitely good for nausea. Regular ginger ale (not diet) helps. And there is a product called Queasy Drops, that are all natural candies or lollipops which help too 🙂
        Take any and all anti-nausea drugs they offer. Don’t be brave! You’ll need them. Unfortunately, the side effects get worse as you go along. Suck ice while getting the chemo, keep your mouth moist so you can avoid mouth/throat sores. They can makeup a special cocktail mouthwash if it gets bad,

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