I went off the pain killers yesterday. I was getting a little too ‘medicated’ for my liking. Yesterday afternoon I fell asleep on the sofa late in the afternoon. Trying to wake up proved to be a bit of a challenge. Keep in mind that I was only taking T3’s…one every four hours. The medical staff encouraged me to go with the program. I did. I need to let the body right itself now. The indignities that I have celebrating lately are indeed curious.
Of course, being a polite person, I won’t name these indignities. Let’s just say that as humans, we all have these functions. That I have been celebrating their return has been amusing at times, but yes, there have been a few high-fives around here lately.
I had thought writing would be as forthcoming as it usually is. That has not been the case. I will be tapping away at the keys then suddenly find myself lolling into a state of nirvana. When I waken, I find the screen now covered with pages of letters that the fingers relaxed into.
Chuckling at this, I pressed delete then closed the computer down. This has happened a few times. The thought process has been fleeting. I was checking my email and saw a photo of a VW Van. In psychedelic, flower power lettering along the side of the van “Make Love Not War” was written in brightly shades of neon.
Of course, as you know I am seeking a catch phrase for my person that will identify me in the same manner that. others enjoy. Am I asking too much? Perhaps it’s the drugs talking.
Think of Mr. T. And what is his catch phrase? I pity the fool that doesn’t know that one. My generation really embraced the whole catch phrase phenomenon.
“Have a Nice Day” accompanied by a yellow smiley face was the all the rage. The new generation now believes Forrest Gump wiped his sweaty face on a towel and uttered those words for the first time. Not quite true, kiddies.
Still the sentiments that were being shared at that time had a sweet innocence to them. I really want to embrace that mindset again. I don’t want to become a cynical nay-sayer who sits in condemnation of the world before me. I think for a time I was that person. Not a fun place to be. I want to know the pleasure of each day despite the hand that’s dealt to me.
I found out yesterday that chemo and radiation will be required. I may be bald for a bit. Now understand that this is purely a vanity thing. The hair will grow back. I’ve heard that if you do a buzz cut then it will grow back thicker. I’ll have to ask my salon about that. Perhaps ask a few people who do shave their head on a regular basis. In any case, the thing about these treatments is the fatigue factor. I was encouraged yesterday to continue with my workout routine and running once the body heals but that I may not be as energized during the treatments. That’s okay. The post-operative stuff will take about 3 months.
I am going to do a brief meditation now. I want to drop down into my heart centre for a bit. This particular journey isn’t completely over just yet. And I am determined to listen to the body and the lessons that are being imparted. I am determined to listen to the spirit and set it free. I am determined to live.
Be well friends. Namaste.