Immortality…a concept we humans have fantasized about most likely since the dawn of our time. I wondered at what age I would want to stop aging and remain forever frozen in my conceived perfection. Then I wondered if I would get bored with this visage considering I would have to live with this reflection forever.
Of course the next question to follow was ‘Would you want to live forever?’
I don’t think I would. What I do know is that for the time that I live, I want it to matter. Mortality has been on my mind a bit these days. I suppose it is a natural consideration when progressing through an illness such as cancer. I don’t want to live forever, I just want to live a long life dedicated to love. Dedicated to learning and expanding and dedicated to healing, sharing and assisting in improving the human condition.
My pelvic region is sore this morning. I am feeling a little more bloated today. I am having my coffee and gazing out at my deck watching the way the sun plays on the bushes that surround me. I like to think of it as my secret garden. Through dappled leaves and bushes I can see the world going by but can it see me?
I have my date set for surgery. June 27th I will settle up with cancer and we will part ways. Despite the discomfort that will likely follow I am so looking forward to this. Then I am going to rest this body of mine before offering the challenge to self to achieved the best state of wellness ever. I want run again, get back to my early morning gym routines and find my yoga body once more.
My run leader Lara has suggested that I aim for running the Turkey Trot which is a 10 km run in October during the Canadian Thanksgiving Day long weekend. I have never done this particular race but decided that not only would be an excellent goal for my recovery but also how meaningful to coincide with that time of year we reflect upon our good fortune and blessings and celebrate them. I have much to be thankful for. I will commit to this race and who knows, maybe I will break the one hour barrier for a 10 km.
That is in the minds eye now. It will be the first race run cancer free. I can’t wait to cross the finish line. Each victory is an affirmation of the life I am fighting for. Each accomplishment adds strength and wisdom. The heart expands and grows and encompasses me in this thing we call love.
I may not live forever, but I am here for the long haul.
Enjoy your Sunday everyone.