The Promise

I had a really good run this morning.  The past two Friday mornings I have missed my 5:00 AM run.  Not today.

This was a validation of sorts for me.  I stepped out into a sultry spring morning.  The scent of pine and fragrant floras played on a gentle breeze that felt like a lover’s kiss.

Dawn was just breaking and the sky was littered with clouds of various sizes with a blue canvas in the background.  I love running on Friday mornings.  These are my spirit runs.  They are mine.  I’m not trying to break any records, nor am I concerned about my pace.  They are quite simply a celebration of movement and a commitment to growth and freedom.

I closed my eyes briefly as I headed down Royal Ave. to McBride and could see so clearly my beautiful spirit horse that always runs with me. Moving at a saucy canter with a mane that dances like waves through the air.

I know I am blessed.

As I turned up onto McBride Ave. I thought of this gift we call life.  How different it can be for each us.  What is it that we weave from the fabric that is offered to us?

There are those in this world who are born into hate and spend their lives looking to destroy all that they see as being wrong with this world, all that they find offensive.  This is something that has been ingrained into them, however, as they didn’t start off that way.  All children upon birth are unblemished.

What I understand now is that this world has everything and more than we can ever imagine to reach the goals we want for fulfillment and that they are different for each of us.  The human condition is such that it allows us to weave a story of our own choosing regardless if we are aware of this fact or not.  And we have choices.  We make them every day.  Sometimes without much thought.

There are those who choose to strap a bomb to their body and walk out into a busy market place and blow not just themselves up but take some additional lives with them.  I don’t understand this mindset.  In fact, I find it very sad.  Because I know, having been told now that I have a cancer in me, that I will do whatever it takes to continue to live.

I won’t take one day for granted.  And I have known this for a while now.  So feeling the air rush through and over me this morning felt very much like a promise.  As I listened to my heart beat and felt the blood move through my body and the pores opened and cleansed me once again.

This morning I had that intangible moment of feeling that everything will be okay and knew it to be true.  Indeed, I have been handed some rather daunting and disturbing things in my life but have always managed to learn from them and grow as a result.  And so too with this.

In a week I will meet with the doctor and find out the course of action that we will be taking to remove this from my physical body.  In the meantime the energy body is soaking up as much love that it can handle and so very  much as been directed toward me.  When someone offers up their prayers and wishes, wow, do I feel the power!

And I am understanding so many things.  I at one time equated prayer with religion.  Now I see it simply as a powerful tool to direct positive energy.  Prayer was born out of love and there in lies it strength.

I shall carry on as I have…this I promise.



5 thoughts on “The Promise

    • Thanks Helen. It has been amazing how many women have stepped forward to share their experiences with hysterectomies and other forms of cancer. Know the success rate is very encouraging. So yes, I am ready for the next step.
      I appreciate your input. Did you find this type of support beneficial for your own journey?


      • 11years ago I was not on FB and did not blog but I think it would have been helpful as I felt very isolated .. Support groups at the hospital were a mix of cancers and I did not feel like that sort of contact… With the Internet you can balance what you need.. Also Information from actual patients would have been good not just all the medical jargon!!! I think it would have helped me to be less scared.. Hope your week goes well…


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