The Anatomy of a Runner & the Fears of a Woman


I suffered an injury.  On the last run with my clinic on Tuesday evening prior to the 1/2 marathon this weekend, I pulled a muscle.  I have never injured myself previously.  Yes, I have had a few aches and pains, but nothing of note.

It was a simple run.  Very low-key.  We were running in Zone 1-2 and we ran 15 minutes out and back.  We  turned and on the way back in I felt that subtle twist in my lower calf muscle.  I slowed my running and tried to run it out but it began to burn so I stopped and walked I out.

After a few minutes it felt better so I tried to resume running.  The pain shot through the back of my calf muscle and well, I felt a certain sinking feeling.  So I have been nursing the leg back to health.  At the moment, it feels tight, but not painful.

I will do this run regardless whether I have to walk or crawl.  At the end of the day, it really is about finishing what you started.

Nothing throughout this experience has gone as planned.  What I do know is that I must finish it.

Since the whole reproductive issues cropped up I have been somewhat bloated.  In fact I gained a little weight oddly enough.  And you know, I don’t mind that so much..  What I now understand is that this experience has taken me to a whole different level.  It has given me an even deeper understanding of the human condition.  Why we drive ourselves.  What we hope for.

Running is something we all can do.  As children we did it effortlessly it seemed.  There is just this natural ability that seems to be born in all of us.  I was thinking back to when I became sedentary.  I loved running when I was young.  Loved the freedom I felt in it.  Then life got in the way.  The burden that I accepted at that time was not mine to bear.  Unknowingly I did and in so doing I let the weight of it hold me back.

Many of the runners I have come to know over the last few years tell me how much this simple act has changed their life.  So I know I am not alone in finding a certain spirituality in this activity.

Running has made me look deeper inside myself than ever before.  And when it gets tough, I look deeper still.

I just want my legs to be strong enough to carry me the final stretch of this journey.  This is a marker, a milestone on the continuation of my evolution.

Oh, there will be other races, other challenges but this is my first 1/2 marathon.  At 55 years of age knowing that I can do this still amazes me.  It is because of what my past entails that I feel this way.

I have fought hard for every victory in my life so why should this be any different?  What I do know is that injury or no, I will be out there.  And I am going to let the mind, body and spirit enjoy the moment.  I will let the life source that surrounds me infuse and encourage me.  I will let the spirit of the horse guide me.

The fears of the woman will continue to dissipate.  I can and will do this.  The body is a remarkable machine that is always shedding and renewing itself.  The spirit is the engine that drives me and the mind is what joins the two.  I am blessed to be at this pinnacle in my life, that I somehow muddled through to this point.

The spirit of the runner has taken centre stage now.  No longer will it allow the woman to delay or forfeit a challenge.  And you know, for me running is one the most personal things I have ever done.  When I am out there doing it, I am naked to this world.

Many times I have cried over the exhilaration that I feel.  It is usually when I am on my own.  The cleansing of the soul, the reinforcement of love and the freedom to share this.  If this sounds deep, know that it is.  Because even as I write this the tears are stinging the back of my eyes.

Yes, I have a passion for this thing we call running.  Describing to you what it has given back to me is sometimes difficult because I end up having a rush of words and emotions wash over me when I think about it.

I am excited.  This is going to be so good!

Peace out everyone.

 

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