I went to a fundraiser last night after work. A young man 37 years of age has cancer. He has undergone intense and aggressive treatments and then suffered a heart attack in the mix of things.
Steve has a young family. He is fit, takes care of himself and his loved ones. By the show of attendees at this event it is evident that he is well-loved.
I have never met Steve.
A woman who I went to school with had posted the invitation on Facebook. It really just reached out to me.
It’s tough when your world goes sideways and the last thing you want to be confronted with is how to pay the bills. Yet it happens everyday to people. And somehow it doesn’t seem fair, does it? But then life really isn’t about being fair. You take the hand that is dealt to you and do the best you possibly can.
This event gave me the opportunity also of touching base with a woman I have not seen in some 35 years or more. It was a delight to see her again.
I have been looking through the shadows of my past and extracting the beauty that did in fact exist in my life at that time. There are a few gems well worth pulling forward and embracing. One of the things I have been doing is touching base with some of the people I knew back in the day. Val was a great gal in school. No nonsense, real and she still is.
We all had our secrets, our fears that we never disclosed. Perhaps growing up is still very much like that. We posture and pose in our insecurities. Oh, I am certain that some don’t have these little hiccups but for many the growing pains we pass through can at times leave very deep scars.
Still, it is your choice to remain subdued by their impact or grow and expand as a result.
Tonight was a good excuse to connect with someone I had not seen in years. Just to say ‘hello’ again. To let them know they mattered to you at that time in your life. That they were good, they were real. I think sometimes about how many lives we touch during the course of our lifetime. Some meetings are brief, some are lasting but they all shape who we become to some degree.
For so many years I was caught in a vortex where I lashed out, blaming whomever was within striking distance of the hurt that I was living with.
The heart bled out, alone, fractured, wanting….
The times that love was offered I treated it with suspicion. My reaction was often accusatory in nature.
I found later that the wound remained open because I was lacking a certain component in order to allow the heart to heal. That little thing known as forgiveness.
On Thursday night I was at the engineer’s office as usual working on the books. My phone rang and my daughter was on the other end sobbing tearfully.
She has been having issues with a certain corporation (BC Hydro…cough…cough). They wanted to charge her some foolish ‘deposit’ eight months after she opened the account with them.
Receiving yet another ‘Final Notice’ she dutifully called them to try to straighten things out. The account is paid in full. There should be no issues. This time, however, she lost her cool. She screamed obscenities and various profanities in her conversation with the agent.
The additional costs were waived at the end of it all. When she called me though she was not upset that they had threatened yet again to cut-off her service. No, she was upset that she had yelled at someone who was just doing their job.
She felt horrible that she had treated someone in that manner even though she had apologized for her behaviour before the conversation ended.
I felt a quiet pride at this moment. This lovely woman who I’ve been blessed with raising was feeling grief over something like this. Her consideration for another just made my heart burst.
God knows I have had such dealings with these organizations in years past and I was far less accountable for my behaviour. And these days that is what I am working on.
So, yes, I will accept an invitation to help support another person in their battle for life.
I hope Steve survives. I hope he lives a long, full life. If I can send this out to him for his well-being consider it done.
We fear death. This goes without saying and yet I can say will all honesty that I don’t fear it so much as I do feel that my time is limited in all that I want to have done and experienced in the time that has been allotted to me.
And it is not bucket list stuff that I am talking about either. I don’t want to jump from a plane, race down white-water rapids or run with the bulls.
I just want to get to that place where I appreciate the moment that I have right now and know it.
Have a great day.