In Training (Day 108)…Revelations

Have you ever had those moments when you come out of what is routine to you, only to discover that you don’t know what you’re doing?

I was finishing up at the gym this morning and having applied my usual light make-up, I grabbed my items and headed over to the end of the counter to plug in my hair dryer with brush in hand.

Extended my hand toward the outlet I stopped and laughed.  As it happened I didn’t have my hair dryer in my hands but rather my can of hair spray.  It occurred to me then how many things we do on auto-pilot.

I smiled and decided that yes, I have been a bit discombobulated as of late.  (And I am delighted that I have been able to use one of my favourite words…not necessarily delighted that my state describes the definition)

In that moment though a bit of mental clarity occurred.  I have been rather scattered.  Emotions have really run the gamut and well, as I pointed out yesterday I have been cycling through to some degree.

So I gave myself a pep talk today as I stood with a can of hairspray in one hand and brush in the other.  My inner James Cagney spoke toughly with a thick New York accent.  And this is kind of what I said to my self.

“Listen kid.  You’ve come a long way.  This is just a race coming up, see. 22 KM, see.

Hell, you’ve gone further than that on some of your drunken binges back in the day.  So what? You’ve had a few health issues.  And you whine that you’re too young?  What about those kids that are fighting for their life from their first breath?

But here you are, see, and you’re pretty healthy, kid.  And you’re getting all bent out of shape over this stuff.  So they wanna take you’re ovaries?  Go ahead, cough ’em up and let ’em make bookends outta them.  Don’t need ’em anymore now do ya? 

Roll with it.  You’re gonna be just fine.  So get out there and kick it! 

Now go get the damn hair dryer and do the do!”

There you have it.  A certain resolve has settled in.  I have been distracted as of late and it’s time to just get back to it.  Just got to deal .  I don’t just want optimum health….I want optimum life.

And I don’t have to know what this will look like because nothing can describe how I feel at this moment.  And I guess that’s the point of all this.

This race is a personal challenge.  I am still standing, I am still moving, I am still running.   It will be done.

(Side note:  For those of you who may not know who James Cagney is, he was an actor who played tough guys in film back in the ’50’s and ’60’s.  Very distinctive voice.  I have adopted this inner voice whenever I give myself a good talkin’ to because I dig it and when that inner voice comes out, I listen. Else wise my inner James Cagney will threaten to put cement shoes on me and take me out for a swim.)

And there you have it.  My focus is razor sharp.

Enjoy your day!





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