In Training?…..My Interpretation of Sponge Bob Square Pants


clip-art-spongebob-2jpgThe past few days I can say with all honesty I identify with our erstwhile friend, good ol’ Sponge Bob.  I have indeed felt we may be distant relatives as I certainly have taken on the physical appearance of what a human sponge might well look like.  And Bob here is just so happy, don’t you know?  So I thought rather than bemoan and resent my current condition, I should perhaps embrace it.

In truth, I have never watched Bob’s television show so I am not certain what kind of shenanigans he gets himself into.  I gave up cartoons a few years back you see.  I had to.  It was time.

I was raised with Bugs Bunny, the Road Runner and all the Looney Tune characters.  One of my favorites that I still recall was a singing frog in a feature called ‘One Froggy Evening.’   Still makes me chuckle.

clip-art-spongebob-4I had Mickey and the gang as well in my youth.  I had a thing for Paddington Bear and I LOVE WINNIE THE POOH!  There, I said it!

During my daughter’s formative years Dark Wing Duck, Mr. Gadget and the Thundercats rocked her world.

I could not swallow Teddy Ruxpin.  I really tried but something about that bear creeped me out.  He had the voice, in my mind, of a serial killer.  Just think about Anthony Hopkins in ‘Silence of the Lambs‘ and Teddy Ruxpin’s voice and tell me that there isn’t a correlation of sorts.  And did I want my daughter listening to an animated bear that could potentially be a sociopath?  NO!

My daughter had a thing for Gem and Holograms and Ninja Turtles as well.  Then along came music and her interest in cartoons began to wane as did mine.  At twelve she bought her first CD which was ‘Green Day‘.  I was so proud.

At 13 years of age I took her to see REM.  All was good in our world.

And that, my friends, is my brief history on animated entertainment, kinda sorta.  Now I must confess that as an adult discovering ‘Pinky and the Brain‘ was a pleasure.  And for a time I viewed the ‘adult’ cartoons that were being produced.  Then finally I accepted adulthood, kinda sorta.  (The cartoons just weren’t very funny anymore)

clip-art-spongebob-1It has been a few years, I admit but I have heard good things about our friend Bob.  Now think about it.  What would it mean to be a sponge?  If you are a Germ-a-phobe, you’ll keep your distances from a sponge.  They soak up a lot of bacteria.  But here we have Bob who is a cesspool of bacteria and his pants have to be tailor made as squares to fit him.  Yet, he always seems quite pleasant and happy.

It would appear, in my rather brief research (5 minutes) that Bob hangs with someone who looks like a tongue, a snail and a cat.  An interesting and eclectic lot to be sure.

So I will, for the remainder of the time that I am in this condition remain upbeat and positive in honour of our good friend Sponge Bob.  Hell, I wouldn’t mind being a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.  Now that could be rather cool and could be whole other story as I am still thinking about Bob’s friend who looks like a tongue.

So I will steer myself back onto safe ground here.

The last dose of the medication was taken last night and with any luck my body will bounce back quickly and I will be up and running in no time.  So look for me and Bob as we run off into the sunset.  I think I want to be a blue sponge or perhaps green.  And could I wear a skirt perhaps?  The pants just look far too uncomfortable.  See you at the finish line!



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