Been an interesting 24 hours. I did the Yoga class after work on Wednesday. It was being offered at my gym. I had read Shakti’s departing letter earlier in the day. (She and her husband Pepe owned the Yoga studio I attended for a year) They are now heading to Bali for a while to teach there. I have been trying a few classes to try and find someplace new. It will be hard to a hard class to replace.
Afterward I went to my doctor to get the goods on this pelvic ultrasound that I had last Saturday. Another sucker punch. It would seem that I have a growth on the inside of my uterus and a dermoid cyst on one of my ovaries. It is likely that the growth in the uterus isn’t cancerous else I would have had more some other indicators, however, we are not certain about this.
I listened with much dismay as the doctor ran through the report.
I have been working on optimum health this year and yet I feel like I am beginning to fall apart.
I asked the doctor what the likelihood of having a hysterectomy was and it the most probable course of treatment. So a little shell shocked I put my coat on to head out into a dark and rainy night. My doctor patted my back and stated, “At least we found this before it became a serious issue for you.” It was a familiar refrain. He had stated this same thing regarding my heart when I had the stent put in and discovered a 95% blockage.
I smiled at him. “I would prefer we don’t find anything at all.” I replied.
Initially I felt quite scared. Hard to actually have to comprehend the ‘C’ word. I have never really thought about cancer. There was that sudden urge to just rip everything out. Suddenly my lower body felt sore and tight. Ah, yes the mind playing cruelly with me. My imagination kicking in now as to what might well be transpiring in there.
I went over to my daughters. She had dinner ready for me. I told her the news and we both cried a bit. I will get through this. I don’t know why all of these are occurring now. Bottom line is that it just something I must work through. The goal is still to enjoy optimum health. It would appear that I will have a few body parts missing once that goal is met. Oye!
Well, I will be running in the morning. Oh, and I am in to see the specialist tomorrow as well. I do have a fabulous doctor and his assistant Jane is a phenomenon. But I will start the day with a 5km run. I am feeling stronger and the fear that kind of took over for the better part of last evening has subsided. Now there is just resolve.
There are no guarantees in this life so I will just move forward and appreciate each day that comes my way.