Non-Training (Day 60)….Abbreviated Thinking

Light Bulb Head We were discussing Twitter at my writer’s group meeting the other evening.  I have an account now, but I am still having issues wrapping my head around the concept.  Chris, one the members told me that I simply had to think about what I wanted to say in a different format.  When he is on his bike heading to work, and he works for a local paper, he is always running clever and witty Tweets through his head.  He asks questions, tries to provoke thought with them.  So I begin now to understand this thing a bit more.  As he stated, you can relay an item of information in many formats.  You can tell it in a novel, or in a poem, perhaps a paragraph or just the basic point.  Simple as that.

So I need to get into abbreviated thinking mode if I am going to be successful.  I need to use terminology with tags such as lol, OMG, wrt, wtf….okay, I’ll try not to cuss.  It has become such a popular way to communicate and I am very much behind the times with this one too.

I found it disturbing at first, and still do in some regard at what is happening to the written word.  Even when texting I write the word out in full. Now I begin to see if I am to become successful with this Twitter thing I must be adaptable to some degree.  Then I got to thinking about the times we might use some of these phrases.  I would never say ‘laugh out loud’.  I would simply be laughing loudly, yes?  I might say ‘Oh My God!” during orgasm.  Should I now shout out OMG?  Hmmm.  ‘WTF’ is much more polite, but if I was moved to say it in the first place then I would likely be really pissed about something and I find it highly unlikely that I would use the more polite abbreviated term.

And while I am thinking about it, why do we thank god during orgasm?  Hmmm.

Now the other aspect to this is how do you get people to follow you on Twitter?  (By the way, I really don’t like the name of this application).  I guess I will have to make a concerted effort to post provocative tweets.  Right now I have a few famous people like Barack Obama.  Do you think he’ll follow me?  He might be a little busy but I guess if he can find the time to tweet, then I can too.  I don’t really know why I added him.  It seemed like a good idea at the time when I first set up my account. I could tell the world I was hangin’ with the man or he could say he was hangin’ with me. I dunno.  Ah well.  Going through another learning curve here.

I was thinking too, how back in the 1950’s they made all of these National Film Board public service films.  These were designed to teach etiquette and manners.  I found them delightfully foolish.  There was a film that showed two young kids going out on a date and the do’s and don’t’s surrounding your behaviour on said date.  We see Johnny and Jane.  Johnny shows up in suit and tie to pick up Jane.  She is garbed in a sweater and poodle skirt with saddle shoes on and hair pulled back in a high ponytail.  They go to a movie.  We see the correct and incorrect way to behave.  He tries to put his arm around her and she is aghast at this blatant and inappropriate advance.  The right way is to just hold hands and he should ask her.  Johnny looks over at her and smiles.  “Are you enjoying the picture, Jane?”  She smiles back, “Oh yes, Johnny.  Thank you.”   “May I hold your hand, Jane?” She giggles coquettishly, “Why yes, Johnny.”

They go for a soda afterward and then back to her house.  How to say goodbye?  Should they a) Shake hands?    b) Kiss on lips?   c) Hug?

You guessed it.  Shake hands.  This is a first date after all.  By the way if he kisses her on the lips she is supposed to slap him across the face, and behave completely affronted at such forward behaviour.  A hug was viewed at man-handling to some degree and while not as bad as kissing, it still merited a push to put some distance between the two.

Hmmm.  Perhaps that was my downfall.  I just said ‘Yes’.  All those films and to what end?  Sigh.

The etiquette films showed us how to light a cigarette, and how to hold a cigarette.  They showed us how to walk, how to sit, how to cross our legs.  It was a bit mind boggling in truth.  Every Friday afternoon at school we had these films plugged in.  In high school they were used for sex education.

Babies were made, we were told, when the boy put his penis in the girl’s vagina.  There was a diagram of the pelvic region of both boys and girls cut in half  so that we could see the inner workings.

They didn’t use the word ‘intercourse’ either.  They used the term ‘copulation’.

“When copulation occurs the boy emits sperm which swims up to impregnate the girl.  Gestation period is approximately nine months.”

There was no talk surrounding the crazy ass emotions that invade our bodies as we enter adolescence or how our hormones may affect us.  I am not even certain if they teach that now.  The great debate has always been should the schools teach sex ed or should parents?

In any case, I am not too sure how I managed to get so sidetracked.  One minute I was talking about Tweeting and the next…old time etiquette lessons.  What do they have in common?

Why nothing and everything I suppose.  We are cycling through.  The popular trend is Tweeting.  It used to be etiquette.  Miss Manners was this stodgy priss who likely would say OMG today whilst having an orgasm.  Now that would be an entertaining film, don’t you think?  Miss Manners meets technology.

Time to get off of here.  I am getting far too silly.  I will go and tweet about tweeting.  I will tweet until I cannot tweet anymore.  I will tweet high and I will tweet low….



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