The alarm sounded and I hit the snooze button then rolled toward the window and listened to the falling rain. I smiled. I was going to get wet this morning. I slipped from my bed and prepared for my run. Man, what a fabulous jaunt this one was. I got soaked! I pushed it to about 6.3 km this morning. I don’t think what I added on is a half kilometer, but I will check that later. And you know, I feel so blessed.
I am celebrating my 55th year on this planet today. I am celebrating this motion, this expansion, this growing childlike wonder and this wisdom that I have been granted. I am celebrating this heart that seemingly grows more compassionate with each passing day. It teaches me lessons daily and all I have to do is listen to it.
My step was light this morning. There was an eagerness to get out there and run. Lately I have been worrying about injuries. If I feel a tendon tightening up, a muscle locking, a ligament tweaking, well, that funny little thing called paranoia kicks in. I was thinking about that during my run today and I can’t get too strung out about this. I just have to listen to what my body is telling me. If a tendon is feeling a bit too tight, then I will ease up working out in the at area. Give it a good rub with a topical cream or oil always helps as well.
For the first forty or so days of training I found the concept of running 22 km rather daunting. I admit that I was feeling intimidated. A growing acceptance is now taking hold. I can and will do this. The distance no longer seems quite as far as when I first signed on.
One of the things I love about running is that is links you to every aspect of yourself. You have to go deep inside at times in order to keep going. And it is in those moments when I dig into my essence that I release and uncover the bad and the beautiful. Running is as much an exercise in psychology as it is a physical manifestation.
The challenge for me was to deal with all the bad things that came to the surface rather than just pushing them off to the side which I have been doing. There is an awareness that is growing. I think my fear of injury relates to other ‘hurts’ in my life. When you believe you will be hurt then automatically you will avoid the antagonist. Accepting this morning that getting aches and pains in this kind of training regime is to be expected and is due process made me look a little deeper at the question.
Was I trying to give myself an out? Find an excuse?
As I stated yesterday I am very good at doing that and it would be justified as well. I could easily convince myself and everyone around me of the dangers of a serious running injury. I am changing my thinking now and it is and will likely remain an ongoing challenge.
What came to mind as I pondered my many hurts (real and imagined, physical and emotional) was the runner, Derek Redmond, in the Barcelona Summer Olympics in the 400 m. (you can find this video on You Tube) He pulled his hamstring and collapsed. But Derek got back up and with tears streaming down his face he began limping toward the finish line. His father ran out onto the field and slipped his arm around him assisting him in his quest and told him he didn’t have to do this. But Derek said that he did. Just prior to the finish line his father let go and let his son cross the finish line on his own. As you might imagine he received a standing ovation and moved everyone to tears.
This is something that speaks so powerfully to me. When the injury occurred it was no longer about winning. It was just about finishing. Derek Redmond came to this race and was favoured to win. When that option was no longer viable and because he was still capable, he needed to finish it. And I understand that so much now.
When I did my first Sun Run(10 km) and crossed the finish line the impact was so profound. A thousand doors opened for me when I crossed that line, so yes, I understand why he needed to finish the race regardless of the injury and regardless of placement.
So today I recognized the fear of pain, the fear of hurt for what it was. Just those little emotional echoes that still reach out and try to hold me back.
Enjoy your day everyone. 🙂