In Training (Day 41)….Realization

The drive in today was absolutely magical.  The Greater Vancouver Regional District, which is composed of Vancouver proper and its surrounding municipalities such as Burnaby, New Westminster, North  and West Vancouver, Coquitlam, Surrey, etc., is made up of rolling hills, valleys and mountains.  I live in New Westminster so there is a climb from the river valley and at the top, spread out so beautifully like a blanket before me,  is Vancouver and Burnaby with Grouse, Cypress and Seymour Mountains in the back drop.  This morning a low fog hung tightly around the trees and buildings.  And as I descended into the fog I would begin the climb once again ascending up through the fog.  And so it continued on like that for about 15 minutes until I was clear of it.  And of course waiting is a beautiful winter morning sky of crisp blue.

As I was driving I was thinking about that moment while I am still in bed when I inevitably try to talk myself out of getting up and hitting the gym or going for a run.  That moment when just as I am about to get up the thought occurs to me that I really don’t have to do this.  I could stay in bed.  And this happens to me every morning.  Sometimes this thought is a bit more aggressive, at times almost demanding that I stay in bed.  Such was the case this morning.

“You’ve been doing so well….your muscles are sore…stay…stay…stay!  You need to rest up.  You don’t want to get injured, now do you?”

That was the refrain that tried valiantly to keep me under the covers for another hour.  I have the other side of me that tells me how good I will feel once I am up and out there and with that I tossed the covers back and jumped out of bed.

I ran my 6 K and it was a fabulous run this morning.  I felt strong and vital. I have had a few runs where I really had to work at it but you know, it is mornings like this one when it feels so good that it just reaffirms why I do it in the first place.  The first 4 K of the route I run is made up of gradual inclines and running on grade.  The last 2 K is the gravy.  It is where I am on grade and then run downhill and man, today I felt like I was free-falling.  It was so exhilarating.

And I got to thinking that maybe I should try to raise some funds for women’s shelters on my quest.  Perhaps I could put it out to a radio station to sponsor me, maybe set up something on their website to raise funds for a couple of transition house and the Downtown East-side Women’s Shelter.  I am already running the race.  I am signed up and I have paid my registration.  I have paid for the running clinic, so everything raised would go toward the cause.  I will look into this.  First I have to find out from the organizers of the BMO Full & 1/2 Marathon if this okay.  I know they raise funds as well for charities and part of the cost of registration goes toward the cause.

But we’ll see if its doable.

This idea came on the heels of the One Billion Rising event that took place yesterday.  It was very moving and very liberating as well.  We had a slight drizzle coming down but I took off my coat and tossed down my umbrella and danced for 50 minutes.  We had a moment of silence for those who have fallen to violence.  Then we shared our free spirits.  It was beautiful.  And if my showing up helped in some small way then great.  But perhaps I could do more.  And so I will see about raising funds through the run that I am already committed to doing.

This is a topic that is very close to me.  I was raised in a violent home.  Became intimate with the fear and let it rule a large part of my life.  In fact, I have never had a lasting relationship with a man because of the violence I was subjected to at such a young age.  So I know well the effects that violence can have on an individual.

But I am getting stronger now.  Part of doing this run is about laying all of the past fears to rest once and for all.  To step into my womanly self without doubt, without shame, without fear.

And yes, I have worked hard combating these issues and I want to be whole.  I want to feel complete.

And that is why I run.  Yes, at times it is hard.  At times while I am tackling a hill I give myself a pep talk.  I tell myself to focus on the top where it will level off.  I remind myself of the payoff, the high, the bliss.  And something happens when I dig down and resolve to keep running.  I shine a light a little deeper into the person I am becoming.  With the completion of each run I am a little stronger.

I will let you know if I get sponsored…I don’t know if this is the correct term or not as they aren’t really paying for anything…just supporting my run and a cause or two.

Let’s learn how to love each other, become kinder and gentler beings.  That is what I am working toward with every step I take.

Have a fabulous Friday and I may not have mentioned this in a while, but thank you  for reading.  I appreciate the support more than you’ll ever know.


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