I must say it is strange to be entering into yet another day of heavy fog. It seems to have descended on our fair City and doesn’t appear to want to leave any time soon. When I first got to the office this morning it actually appeared to be burning off a bit. I could see the pale blue sky peeking through. Now the fog has thickened yet again. Last night driving home the fog was so thick I had to drive substantially slower as visibility was extremely limited. This would be really beautiful if I was up top of Grouse Mountain or Seymour Mountain. Up there the sun is shining and below them is Vancouver nestled in a blanket of fog for as far as the eye can see. It is really quite spectacular to see.
But I am not up in the mountains but down here in the fog.
Had a decent workout this morning. I am adjusting these now to accommodate my training. Because I am running tonight, I did 25 minutes on the bike and did the random hills setting then did some stretching and squats. I worked on my hip flexors as well. I am trying to make each session in the gym specific to a certain part of the body and I always try to engage the core in these exercises as well.
I was thinking last night about my tendency to worry about certain things and about people who are close to me that I love. This is something I need to let go of as well. I have that rescue mentality at times. You have a problem? I want to swoop down and fix everything! What I am coming to terms with is that all I can offer is my support. I can lend an ear. I can offer suggestions but at the end of the day the person experiencing the issue must ultimately take the steps to find resolution.
I do have problems of my own of course. And what I am trying to do is actually find out how I end up in certain messes in the first place. Quite often it is one of those instances where I have followed certain patterns that have been embedded into my thinking and I ultimately end up making the same mistakes over and over, though they can apply to different scenarios.
That is the other thing that is on the table these days. And while some of the issues I have been discussing as of late may sound like there are a lot going on that I need to deal with, it isn’t as daunting and overwhelming as it sounds. Right now I am putting conscious identifying markers on things. This is an important aspect to my personal growth. I need to have it all out on the table. The good and the bad so that I can respond accordingly. And as stated previously, re-write the wiring that is in this head of mine.
I am not just pushing these issues back down and making excuses for them any longer. I am accepting them and adjusting their nature. For example, there is nothing wrong with wanting to help people. I just need to define what I can do to assist and stay within my parameters. No more co-dependence. Helping someone can have a negative impact and I want to offer assistance in a positive light.
I have a few things I really need to think on these days. So it continues. I need to let these worries evaporate and trust in my heart that resolution will make itself known.
Peace out everyone.