I had a fabulous run yesterday. We did 7k in a shorter time frame (45 min). The runs are designed, as I may have mentioned, to challenge one week with recovery for the next week. Yesterday’s run was just along the water. Really beautiful with this heavy fog that has sat over the city the past few days. Our pace was 6:39 per/km which is an improvement from the previous week. Still, there were no hills this time out which makes it easier to fall into a certain pace and maintain it. I have found a Bonk Buster (nutritional bar) that I believe I will use for the 1/2 marathon. I just have to practice eating while I am running. They are really good and all natural as well. These are soft and not as chalky as some bars are. For now I will forgo the gels and try this out. I am going to make up the water mixture with lemon, honey and sea salt though.
I had a quiet weekend. Very reflective actually. Taking a deeper look at self these days. A woman I know posted a question on Facebook that queried if sex educators should be sexy? And should the client find the educator attractive as a result?
My first response was that being sexy would come naturally with the territory as a sex educator. As you well know, if you reply to someone on Facebook, any additional comments are sent forward to your email address. I really started to think about this now. What is sexy? To me it is someone who is comfortable and confident in their sexuality. The conversation traversed to several areas. One was regarding Dr. Ruth. She was not considered sexy by some as they did not feel she was having mind-blowing sex, so how could she possibly be a good sex educator.
To this I responded that Dr. Ruth was old school. She was one of the pioneers in discussing sex and sexuality. Yes, she spoke from more of academic and science based ideology, but in truth, whether I agreed with her or not, I never wondered if she was having mind-blowing sex. She was discussing things that previously had been unmentionable.
Should I have asked myself that question when saw her on TV talking about sex? Did I ask myself if I found her sexy? No, I didn’t.
Today’s sex educator is far more open and to the point. They will teach technique and encourage open dialogue. They will challenge your inhibitions as well. The woman who posed the question is a sex educator and yes, she is a very attractive and sensual woman. Is she having mind-blowing sex? Yes. But she has openly discussed this. Was it something that I asked myself when I first met her? No.
And again, I wonder should this have been part of the criteria I should have considered prior to working with her?
I initially took a dance class that she was offering to help me touch base with my feminine self and to assist me on getting my ‘sexy back’. It was a fun class. And for me, getting my sexy back meant gaining the confidence and delight of being a woman and all that this encompasses.
So the question was an intriguing one that pulled me back to look at not just the sex educator, but all of us. And I got to thinking about the need to actually have a sex educator. Again it seems that at some point in our history there was a major disconnect to our sexual selves. I wonder at what point sex became something that was ‘dirty’ and ‘indecent’. I wonder why we were told that we shouldn’t enjoy it and that as a woman if we did, then we would be viewed as being bad and not worthy or less than.
As a woman I learned at a very early age to feel shame about my body. When I began my cycle it would be cause for embarrassment and not something to be discussed openly. There was an incredible amount of confusion and shame when the body began to develop and experience touch. Like many women, I never spoke about touching self and how good it felt to do so. This was my ‘dirty little secret’ so to speak.
And yet, all these years later, I understand that it is very natural and we all do it, men and women. If someone claims to have never touched themselves then they are likely very repressed sexually.
I am on a quest over the next few months to realize my optimum health and my sexuality is a big part of my health. As stated previously, this isn’t just about a race for me. It goes much deeper. I am addressing every aspect of health. To feel complete and whole in every sense.
Can one race or the preparation for it give me all this?
I will let you know when I cross the finish line.