So an interesting mindset this night. Another Saturday night. Guess I have to get used to this idea, and I suppose it is a North American phenomenon, about having something to do on a Saturday night. The majority of mine are spent alone, pen in hand while I pour out whatever happens to be in this head of mine.
No, I am not looking for sympathy. I am trying to understand certain patterns we have set for ourselves. Perhaps this is part of the puzzle as well. Releasing patterns that we have set for ourselves.
It’s not a bad thing. I actually got a lot done this day. The Christmas decorations have been tucked away for another year. The house is clean. In the morning I will be going for a run.
I am, admittedly in something of a strange thought pattern at the moment.
And yes, I want. Many things in fact. And I guess this night I wonder about these wants. Why they exist? Do they drive me forward? If I didn’t want then would I be happy or just unproductive. Hard to say.
Do we always want? Is there always some elusive thing that we aspire to become or possess?
And I think at times I perhaps try too hard. Come off to intense. I don’t know. As I try to balance these new emotions, feeling and circumstances I at times feel even more wacked.
Happy Saturday Night one and all.