So an interesting mindset this night.  Another Saturday night.  Guess I have to get used to this idea, and I suppose it is a North American phenomenon, about having something to do on a Saturday night.  The majority of mine are spent alone, pen in hand while I pour out whatever happens to be in this head of mine.

No, I am not looking for sympathy.  I am trying to understand certain patterns we have set for ourselves.  Perhaps this is part of the puzzle as well.  Releasing patterns that we have set for ourselves.

It’s not a bad thing.  I actually got a lot done this day.  The Christmas decorations have been tucked away for another year.  The house is clean. In the morning I will be going for a run.

I am, admittedly in something of a strange  thought pattern at the moment.

And yes, I want. Many things in fact.  And I guess this night I wonder about these wants.  Why they exist?  Do they drive me forward?  If I didn’t want then would I be happy or just unproductive.  Hard to say.

Do we always want?  Is there always some elusive thing that we aspire to become or possess?

And I think at times I perhaps try too hard.  Come off to intense.  I don’t know.  As I try to balance these new emotions, feeling and circumstances I at times feel even more wacked.

Happy Saturday Night one and all.


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