I have heard so much about boundaries over the last few years and in honesty it’s not a topic I know a great deal about. I am learning about them though and how to set them. Sometimes it takes a gaff or two before I begin to see the wisdom in something and incorporate it into my life. I tend to be rather spontaneous still, rather reactive. I have improved from years ago where I was at one time completely combustible and volatile.
Now I have gained a great deal of control but still having issues with where to draw the line. And I guess this only comes with experience. Of recognizing when something is perhaps going sideways or catches you off guard and how to respond and not get caught up and carried away in it.
I guess that is the conundrum of trying to live in the moment, to live it as fully and passionately as possible BUT to have boundaries. Oye!
Who writes this stuff?
I do understand the need particularly in my case. Having compartmentalized myself for years then bringing the entire sense of self together, and with various portions now being in different stages of maturity, well you may get the idea that the boundary thing can be a bit dubious at times.
I am still feeling a wee bit coltish. I have this odd humour that sometimes really needs to be reined in when I am with people who don’t know me very well. And sometimes I find myself in a situation that comes at me from left field and I get blind-sided for a moment.
So it is finding balance in this spectrum of self and projecting my personage in a way that I am comfortable with and that those around me are comfortable with as well. It is curious though. I am trying to come off a bit softer and so far I don’t think its going very well. I have been told I have something of a strong personality? And in truth I know there are times when I am just so caught up in something that I will exude certain energies. Time to clean this all up.
I am in training officially now.
I really want to pull it all together over the next four months. I have worked so hard over the last few years to bring everything out and move through it all. When I cross the finish line on May 5th I really want it to be with a true sense of self. That these little fragments of emotional string that still linger will have dissipated and I will be in a place that is sound in every sense.
I hope everyone had a great New Years celebration. I have a few very big goals. It is time to bring them to fruition.
My wish for all of you is a beautiful year ahead.