The Midnight Hour


As of late social justice and that place of equality and harmony have invaded the grey matter. The desire to reach out to my fellow beings who are experiencing their life during the same time period as I am and wanting to see us get to a place of….

And I wish I could fill in the blank. I wish I could say where we need to go, what we need to do and how we need to do it to get there. But wouldn’t that spoil the journey if I did know? The delight in discovery is the best part so please, don’t tell me the ending, if there even is one.

It’s just this idea, this vision, this thought. It excites, gets the neurons fired up and wanting to experience…what?

I want to throw it open and collaborate and exchange ideas and thoughts and emotions and feelings and….I want to expand and grow.

It’s been a quiet day for me. Solitary. Editing. Contemplative. Alive. Ruminating. Planning. Desire. Want. Need.

All these things running through me. The simplicity and the complexity running parallel to each other. At some point they join together, or do they?

And I think about this thing we call social justice and I think about this thing we call life and I wonder just what precisely do I want from all of this. Interesting thought really. But you know, in the midnight hour, which is what I am approaching as I write this, I want love. I want this to invade the very core of my being. I want to emulate this in all that I do

Does it sound silly? I don’t know. Can you find an equal plane for all of us?

I think about the world order, I think about homelessness, I think about gun usage, I think about war, I think about unemployment, I think about energy, I think about being alone, I think about fear.

And I wonder how to fix all these things. How to stop them. How to correct them. How to change them. Can it be done?

And who am I to think that I could possibly influence such a movement. But then I thought it has to start somewhere. Yes?
That idea that we can come together as a people, as a global family. That we can forget about our gods, forget about our differences, forget about hate, forget about hurt, forget about class, forget about race…and just come together as humans.

And what do we all want? After the basics are met. Once we are fed and are clothed and dry in a warm bed at night. What do we want?

In the midnight hour as the man a few doors down curls up in his sleeping bag in the enclave of a doorway, as the hooker gets her fix to help her forget for awhile why she’s there, as the child covers her ears from the onslaught of the yelling coming through the walls and as a thousand hearts break at the news of yet another shooting. What do we all want?

A woman passes with her dog in tow. Out for a midnight pee. She is absent from this. Mechanical. The dog is sniffing, exploring, wanting and she is oblivious…gazing in windows, the expression listless, somewhere else?

Voices create a sound, with no sensibility. Music plays over the hum. Words ignored in their plaintive wail. They beg, plead for what we all want.

Love.

And why is this so hard? Why is does this seem so monumental a task? To open our hearts…to a just be.

Twenty-six people lost their lives. Twenty were children just beginning in this world. The President brings up gun control and the masses head out to the store to stock up on their assault rifles. Why? Please explain this. What am I taking from you if I tell you cannot own a gun that can release a magazine of 30 rounds within a minute.

In the midnight hour I wonder how we got to this point. And I wonder what we are afraid of that we need to house such things as guns. Do they make you feel safe? Have you ever thought how you would feel if you shot another being?

I don’t know. I am trying to wrap my head around this mindset. Trying to put myself into that sense that I have this ‘right’ to own this thing that kills. Oh, I have heard the statement bandied about. ‘Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.”

And what pray tell, is the purpose of the gun? And just to remind you, there is a person at the other end using the gun.

Put down your weapons. We don’t need them. We never did. We are creating these fears to do what? Keep the masses inline? For what exactly?

This only separates and divides us further. And I know that I am not the only person that has this line of reasoning.

And in the midnight hour as I make my way home with the rain now falling in earnest, the umbrella providing this shield from becoming completely soaked. I walk through the deserted streets of New Westminster to my home and curl up in my bed alone. And I think how nice it would be to have the warmth of someone that I love and that loves me reaching for me. And I wonder why it is that I am still alone. And I wonder when this will change. And I wonder how I can make this change. And I think about the man curled up in a doorway and the hooker getting her fix.

I think about the hurt we all have felt and how we all want acceptance. How we all want love and has sleep claims me I hope that we will all find it.

Goodnight all. May all your dreams come true.

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