Another beautiful morning here in Vancouver. We are having these weather systems blow through and it is really cool to watch. One minute it is a beautiful, crisp Autumn morning, then these clouds roll in that are dark and ominous in appearance and just like that, the skies open and we are cleansed. Last night I ran with my clinic as usual. I was stiff and in some minor pain when I began the run, but by the end, I had loosened up considerably and had very little discomfort. We did a tempo run and I really took it easy. Just a gentle pace to get the injured portion of my hip back into the movement. I will continue to run and workout at a less strenuous rate this week.
Still it feels so good to move. That was what I focused on last evening…just the pure sensation of the body’s movement. Breathing into and allowing the body to relax into the movement.
This morning on the drive in I was thinking about an friend of mine who has a film project that he is working on. Yesterday James uploaded the pitch video onto Facebook and posted it on You Tube as well. It is a campaign to raise funds for his Soul Sex film project. I would encourage you to check it out and if you feel moved to support this project, than by all means do so.
I met James close to two years ago on a professional level. He is a sexual healer. Going into this I really had no idea what to expect or even what he did for that matter.
I have never gone into detail about my past on this blog. To let you know, however, I have just completed a memoir which examines the effects of being raised in an abusive home. I hope to have it available for publication shortly.
But I digress.
Yes, I tend to get a bit long winded in my explanations and I am trying to correct this but because the nature of today’s topic is more delicate in nature, I thought it might be best to give you a little background.
I am the product of an abusive home. I experienced all manners of abuse. Physical, emotional and sexual. I have been on my own since I was sixteen years of age. I did not graduate from high school. From a very early age I was ruled by my fears. Then a rage was born in me that lent me to being impulsive, reactive and at times rather abrasive and slightly crazy. There was a gaping wound in my soul from these early experiences that just seemed to be continually bleeding out.
I became a single parent at 25 years of age. I promised that child when she was placed in my arms that I would do right by her, and guess what? I did. It wasn’t easy. I had to rebuild self with nothing more than a faint notion of who I thought I could be. I focused on a career, on building a home and on being a woman she could be proud of. For twenty-eight years I denied my sexual self. I locked that part of me away and threw away the key.
The journey has been one that has been exhilarating at times and extremely painful as well. With each accomplishment I found yet another set of issues that required my attention. Two years ago I was out with a friend whom I have known since I was ten. She has watched the metamorphosis of my life unfold.
I went from a shy, withdrawn young mother who hid in a body that weighed 300 lbs. and worked menial jobs to managing an Architectural firm, owning my own home, writing a book, and raising a beautiful young woman. And I have about another 30lbs to lose to hit goal weight. So yes, I have pushed through. And as we sat there talking that evening two years ago a stark realization was made. I had effectively shut down my feminine self. I had denied such a major part of me and had no idea what to do about this or where to start.
Then I found James.
He opened an entirely new world to me. I truly began to understand just how beautiful sex can be. I also began to understand that just as there is a dark side to everything, there is an amazing lightness of being to everything as well. And when I discovered that lightness of being, God I just wanted to stay there forever. And I know now that it surrounds me always and I am connected to this energy always.
I worked with James for just over a year and he assisted me in some major personal breakthroughs regarding my sexuality. We keep in touch now and he is someone who will always have my deepest respect and admiration for the work that he does and for the person that he is. And he wants to share this in film. This is a project that is very timely in my mind.
As of late I have been watching documentaries such as ‘Sext-up Kids’ which sadly shows how misguided our youth are today regarding sex. Pornographic sites are like a cancer on the internet and as James points out in his pitch, this is where many of them are getting their ‘Sexual Education.’ Frightening.
I encourage you to check out his pitch video. I support this project fully as well. Also, if you have any questions James is always very forthcoming in this regard. See the link below and I have also included the campaign page as well.
May we all come to know this gift that we possess.
Thanks and enjoy your day.