This has been a tough week. Physically and emotionally I have been feeling as though additional weight has been added. In a sense I am standing here, looking out at this world with so much that needs to be said and done and I am standing still. Everything seemingly stalled internally and externally. I have been fighting the ‘alone‘ thing. Why do I find this so difficult to deal with?
I tell myself that I am being foolish. That I need to grow up and grow past these fears from the past. Yet there is something about being home late in the evening sometimes when my energy just cannot fill the space that I am in. There is a void of sorts. I suddenly feel very small, very insignificant. It is these moments that I feel isolated and cut off from the world around me.
This will pass. I know I will rise above it and move forward. Feeling just a little battered physically as well after having a run in with an elevator door last Friday. While I have been doing some workouts, the body is feeling stiff and bruised, so this has been a minimal week in the exercise department. I didn’t think getting hit by an elevator door would knock everything so much out of alignment, but apparently it has.
How did I get assaulted by an elevator door, you ask?
My boss asked me to take some metal computer casings down to his vehicle. I loaded up the dolly and began to pull it off the elevator when the metal pieces all fell off in the doorway of the elevator. Now rather foolishly, as I know this elevator well enough by now, I placed my hindquarters against the door to keep it open. I then began to just toss the pieces into the hallway to the parkade. The door closed quite forcefully on my left buttock, driving me forward. My head cracked up against the opposite side and I braced my hands has the elevator door continued to push. It is an old elevator and does not have the sensors in it to detect an object in its path, consequently it takes a moment before it opens again.
Initially it hurt a wee bit, but has the days have passed I’ve stiffened up. I did a Yoga class and that helped. Last night I ran with my group and we did circuit training. I detest feeling rickety and last evening I felt rickety. I managed to get through it, so I will ease up on the workouts over the next few days and mend.
And hopefully in short order I will get past this latest round of emotional blockages that seem to be impeding me as well.
I think it’s high time I claimed my sense of humour. Some of these posts have been a little on the melancholy side as of late I suppose. On the lighter side I can now say with all honesty that I have been rear-ended by an elevator.
We all go through periods of friction in our life. I guess there is a value to it in that I exfoliate some of the emotional baggage…lose the ego thingy…that type of thing. But I want to wake in the mornings with the absolute wonderment of the day ahead, not feeling like I have been dragged through the cosmos by the tail of a comet.
Do enjoy the day. I will certainly try to.