Ah, the elusive emotion we all seek. The drive in this morning had me pondering this most prized offering. There are a few lines in a Daniel Levoie song titled ‘Here in the Heart’. The line is:
‘I don’t know where love begins
Or how it grows or why it ends…’
I have witnessed such a beautiful love between people who I know. And yet, despite possessing this, they could not see past their differences. I have encouraged people to make every effort and exhaust all avenues before walking away from what they have. And I wonder if in the dark of night, now that they’ve left it behind…do they wish they’d tried harder?
I have not known the love of man in my life. Not really. I have had a lot of sex, but that’s not love. I suppose then that when I see the love between two people, I am always hopeful that I will find this for myself. It has not happened yet but I have not given up. For many years I had shut myself down and denied that I was even worthy of such a thing to begin with.
I now know that I am more than worthy to give and receive this gift. I do have the love of family and friends. This has sustained and nourished me for many years and helped me in healing the wounds of the past. I guess the thing that is strange to me now is that I have so much to offer and so much to give, and I don’t know how to make that known. I am now a woman in my fifties and it seems to me this thing we call dating has become increasingly complicated.
I suppose all I can do is just put this energy out on a daily basis with the hope that at some point a connection will be made.
For those of you fortunate enough to have found love, please nurture it. I suppose at times we take things for granted and believe they will always be there, then when it is lost to us…only then do know what we had. One thing I do know is that love needs to fed equally to each of the participants. I know that this happens through communication and through transparency. No secrets and no conditions. Let it happen and give it the freedom to grow.
So to my still unknown lover I say, “I am here and I love you.”