A Question of Truth

Truth, like many other aspects of life, is very subjective.  There are, of course, absolute truths such as the sun will rise and set daily.  We will sleep and awaken, we will feel emotion, we will breathe the air that sustains us, we will eat and drink, etc.  These are just a few examples of absolute truths.  They cannot be disputed.

Now some may say that they don’t feel, as they feel nothing.  But the thing of it is, they are experiencing a feeling…even if it is void and desolate in nature…it is still a feeling none the less.

Then there are experiential truths.   These are the ones that are personal.  These are the ones that define who we are.  These truths are based on the events and experiences in our life that shape out being, and sometimes while it may appear to be a truth in the beginning, it can turn out to be a fallacy.  We have all heard the term, ‘living a lie.’  So I got to thinking about all of this and I must admit, I have been rather reflective as of late.

I thought of my role as a mother and how I really went into it blindly and without any forethought as to how I should execute this role.  I muddled through though.  I learned a lot about my self during the process.  Now about my professional life.  I started off trying to please everyone and trying to be what I thought they wanted in the work place.  I tried to be the model employee.  It didn’t take long to discover that the business world will eat you alive if you let it.  I showed up at work for the longest time as the proverbial doormat and was used as such.  But I dusted myself and grew a backbone and moved ahead and into management but kept my empathy and compassion.  Personally I think the business world needs more of this.

On a personal level…that one I am still struggling with.  I have managed to free myself from my self-imposed restraints, but I must tell you, learning to fly is quite another matter.

So what is my truth?

That has been on my mind as of late as I try to puzzle out which direction I should point myself in.  Then again I wonder if I shouldn’t just throw myself into the four strong winds and see where I land.  Somehow I don’t think that would be a very good idea at this point in time.  This weekend it occurred to me that I have tendency to make a decision then dive into the deep end of it and hope I don’t drown.   Gotta tell you, I am tired of treading water.

I am going to compile a list and then see if it adheres to who I am.  Once I have the list put together, I will share it with you.  This past year or so I have been conducting a personal Frankenstein project.  I have been integrating all parts of self into one being.  Sounds weird, I know…even stranger to live it.  But I really had become very good at just tucking everything that I didn’t want to deal with and those aspects of self off into some dark corner of my persona.

Now I am trying to pull the whole thing together.  Oye!

I already have the Frankenstein hair….I know, I know…let’s not talk about the hair thing again.  When will I learn?

I should know by now to never walk into a hair salon and tell them to make me look like ‘rock star’.  In this case I walked in and said I wanted ‘Debby Harry’s hair’.

Now I look like Pollyanna dressed as a zombie, or something like that.  So this is an absolute truth.  I will never be happy with my hair! I will likely always have a love/hate relationship with it.  Okay, one truth down….a thousand more to go.

Yes, I do laugh at myself.  I have to.

Time to get to work.  Lots to do.  And I will put up the list later this week.

Enjoy your day everyone.  Thanks for stopping by.


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