Strange morning, strange dreams, thoughts that just kind of tease the corner of consciousness then disappear again. The last couple of days there has been this unusual calm in me. After having a few months with such restless energy moving through me it’s as if it just stopped and went away. So now I am feeling this calm but it feels decidedly unnatural if that makes any sense at all.
There is a heightened awareness at this moment. And in my dreams lately it is as if I am connecting everyone I know to each other in some abstract way. Just these little filaments to bind together everyone and all that I love I suppose? Don’t get me wrong now, I like the sense of calm that I am feeling. It’s just rather unusual for me. I was thinking too, how the body, mind and spirit rejuvenate themselves, if you let them. I have had inner battles with self for a lifetime, so I am familiar with allowing the body to heal to a certain degree and then imploding and begin the process yet again.
Maybe after all the work I have done over the last year and half, over a lifetime, over several lifetimes, maybe I am finding that balance in just being. Maybe I am starting to understand what this life is all about. Maybe, just maybe I have finally laid my past to rest.
I was reading an article yesterday about the discovery of Higgs boson. For those of you not aware of this physicists have found a particle that binds all matter together preventing it, once formed, from coming apart or disintegrating. It is like a massive big web that stretches throughout the cosmos. We cannot see it but it is there, just as we cannot see air but we know it is there. This particle collects matter that is being formed such as our solar system, such as our universe, such as the limitless confines of space itself. Now I believe they are going to start looking at the dark matter that makes up the majority of space. So cool!
I get really excited by these things. I don’t know why, I just do. Space really does fascinate me and it always has. How many times have I looked up into a night sky and wondered who and what else is out there. The diversity of life on this planet surely exists elsewhere. I guess too, the understanding of the energy that comes from the great beyond and permeates our very being. Influences everything on this planet really. We are most definitely influenced by our sun and our surrounding planetary bodies and their moons, so it stands to reason that we would be influenced by the energy that comes from beyond our solar system.
Thinking about that expansive space just blows me away too. I get thinking about the dark matter conundrum and how science will look to discover its characteristics. After all dark matter swallows light or so it would seem.
Ah, yes, the curious mind. The threads of thought that develop and form then disappear again. This too, fascinates me. How all those neurons and electrons and god knows what else is up there combine to bring about the thoughts, ideas and inspiration that they do. To think about our collective genius as a species, to think about our collective ignorance as a species, to think about our universal hopes and fears.
And for this moment in time, I have watched yet another beautiful day come into being. I can see the reflection of the sun through the leaves on the trees, I can feel the breeze as it moves lazily through the morning air. I am alive and quite grateful so.