That is the question of the hour. I was driving into the gym this morning thinking over the past year. I had a serious ‘disconnect’ to my feminine self, you see. Didn’t really feel womanly, really didn’t think I looked it either. So I have been working exceptionally hard to ‘Get My Sexy Back!’ Considering I don’t think I ever had it to begin with, deciding on what ‘Sexy’ looks like on me has become something of a comedy of sorts.
Now I have this rather odd thing that I do. When I meet someone for the first time, I associate them with an animated character. I remember meeting an architect one time at the office and he immediately reminded me of Eeyore and he sounded like the woeful little donkey too. I have met a lot of Tiggers and a few Piglets and Owls. Of course you have your rough and tough Yosemite Sams that like to spew a whole lot nothing bout nothing.
You get my drift. It is a bit of an oddity. I don’t know if anyone else does this or not. I have been trying to connect with my inner Jessica Rabbit. I think I am more of a cross between Fog Horn Leg Horn with a bit of Miss Piggy thrown in for good measure.
I hope I haven’t frightened you too much with that visual.
For those of you who have followed my writing here, you may recall that for approximately 20 weeks last year I attended an Erotic dance class. By the end of that experience I had gone from dancing like the Tin Man to dancing like a Peg Leg Pirate. It was ridiculously fun though. Did I get my sexy back through this? Well, what I am coming to terms with is that Sexy on me is going to be funny. I don’t think I can be a ‘seriously sexy’ woman. And in my mind a ‘seriously sexy’ woman would be your Marilyn’s, Charlize Theron’s, Peta Wilson’s, Ann Margrets, Sofia’s, and the list could go on.
To me a seriously sexy woman can walk into a room and make everyone want her. Now yes, I know I am being a bit dramatic in my description but I am simply trying to make a point. I mean I don’t think anyone can really do that. Me, I think I am shooting for a sexy bowl of Jello when I walk into a room And everybody loves Jello, right?
Yes, I jiggle. That’s what happens when gravity wins out. The musculature that once held everything in place has turned into a bungee cord and with each step the boobs and butt are trying to touch down, and they bounce back up then they try to touch down.
I guess I can decide now what flavour of Jello I want to look like. Strawberry is a favourite as is Cherry.
Now the other thing I have been pondering is taking over and ruling the world. So let me know if you think a woman who looks like a sexy bowl of Strawberry Jello has a chance at world domination. Personally I think it could work.
Enjoy your day everyone and prepare to be assimilated!