Am I Sexy Yet?


That is the question of the hour.  I was driving into the gym this morning thinking over the past year.  I had a serious ‘disconnect’ to my feminine self, you see.  Didn’t really feel womanly, really didn’t think I looked it either.  So I have been working exceptionally hard to ‘Get My Sexy Back!’  Considering I don’t think I ever had it to begin with, deciding on what ‘Sexy’ looks like on me has become something of a comedy of sorts.

Now I have this rather odd thing that I do. When I meet someone for the first time, I associate them with an animated character.  I remember meeting an architect one time at the office and he immediately reminded me of Eeyore and he sounded like the woeful little donkey too.  I have met a lot of  Tiggers and a few Piglets and Owls.  Of course you have your rough and tough Yosemite Sams that like to spew a whole lot nothing bout nothing.

You get my drift.  It is a bit of an oddity.  I don’t know if anyone else does this or not.  I have been trying to connect with my inner Jessica Rabbit.  I think I am more of a cross between Fog Horn Leg Horn with a bit of Miss Piggy thrown in for good measure.

I hope I haven’t frightened you too much with that visual.

For those of you who have followed my writing here, you may recall that for approximately 20 weeks last year I attended an Erotic dance class.  By the end of that experience I had gone from dancing like the Tin Man to dancing like a Peg Leg Pirate.  It was ridiculously fun though.  Did I get my sexy back through this?  Well, what I am coming to terms with is that Sexy on me is going to be funny.  I don’t think I can be a ‘seriously sexy’ woman.  And in my mind a ‘seriously sexy’ woman would be your Marilyn’s, Charlize Theron’s, Peta Wilson’s, Ann Margrets, Sofia’s, and the list could go on.

To me a seriously sexy woman can walk into a room and make everyone want her.  Now yes, I know I am being a bit dramatic in my description but I am simply trying to make a point.  I mean I don’t think anyone can really do that.  Me, I think I am shooting for a sexy bowl of Jello when I walk into a room  And everybody loves Jello, right?

Yes, I jiggle.  That’s what happens when gravity wins out.  The musculature that once held everything in place has turned into a bungee cord and with each step the boobs and butt are trying to touch down, and they bounce back up then they try to touch down.

I guess I can decide now what flavour of Jello I want to look like.  Strawberry is a favourite as is Cherry.

Now the other thing I have been pondering is taking over and ruling the world.  So let me know if you think a woman who looks like a sexy bowl of Strawberry Jello has a chance at world domination.  Personally I think it could work.

Enjoy your day everyone and prepare to be assimilated!

 

🙂

 

 

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