She slipped into my room yesterday morning at just before 8:00 AM. I was awake. I was just laying in bed on a Sunday morning thinking about any number of random things. Funny what filters into the mind upon awakening.
She brushed my brow then kissed my forehead and said ‘Happy Mother’s Day…I meant to tell you that last night before I went to bed. I love you’
I smiled at her. ‘Thank-you’ I replied and we smiled at each other, ‘I love you too.’
‘Why are you all wet?’ she asked.
‘You need to ask?’ I chuckled. “I’m just flashing’. (For those not familiar with menopausal terminology…it is a hot flash…and basically I turn into a puddle for a few minutes then regain solid form once more)
She smiled and shook her head then slipped back out of my room and closed the door.
I laid in bed for a little while longer. I would be taking my sister to breakfast this morning as it was her birthday a few days ago. My daughter would be treating me to dinner.
I got to thinking about when she was born. I didn’t really have a clue what I was doing. Emotionally, financially, intellectually I was quite a mess at that time in my life.
What I did know is that I had been given this beautiful gift to raise and I have always tried to honour the commitment I made to her upon birth. The promise was a simple one…to always let her know that she is loved and to try and become an example of a woman that she could be proud of. The writings in the card that she gave indicate that I have been successful on both fronts. Like everything in this life though, it is an experience that I continue to grow and learn from.
I am at times deeply humbled by the woman she has become. Such beauty and grace and such depth of character. Yes, I love this girl very deeply. I think sometimes she might well have saved me. She provided direction where before there was none. She made me take a long look at myself and while at that time I didn’t like what I saw, I resolved to change for her benefit and in so doing…I reaped the rewards as well.
I am not one who reads books on ‘how to…’ become a better parent, wife, mother, lover, investor, person, etc. I am someone who tries to really work from the heart. While there have been many times when my fears got in the way I really think I am finally starting to figure it all out. As I like to say, I muddle through. That is not to say that ‘how to’ is not a useful tool…they just tend to be a bit too regimented for me in their telling.
Upon reflecting on the lovely evening we spent and the true enjoyment of each others company I do feel so very blessed.
To all the Moms out there…I hope you are enjoyed a good one!