Feel it

A new cycle started today.  Another 12 week plan for optimum health.  Another round of moving toward full acceptance of self.  Another bout of moving toward forgiveness of self.  Optimum health in my mind is not just about the fitness and diet aspect which is the physical aspect of the body.  Optimum health embraces every level of being.  As I move through these cycles I am learning a bit more everyday and am adjusting to the wellness side of self with baby steps.  At times, I find myself rejecting this philosophy.  The old habits rear their heads and want to let loose.  I have entertained this from time to time and the funny thing of it is, I end up just feeling crappy.

Then I throw myself on the proverbial couch and do a little self-analysis to try and determine why I deviated in the first place.  At the end of the day I can’t be throwing myself on the couch too often…I just need to accept that at times I am going to ‘misbehave’ a wee bit and move on.  I think it is just in my nature to be a little naughty at times and so I have to address and acknowledge this side of self as well.

This morning I was at the gym and I have really punched up my routine.  I am making everything a little harder, a little more intense.  I usually close my eyes when I am performing an exercise.  This morning I really got into the movement.  I could feel the muscles contracting, I could feel the breath moving in and out of the body.  I could feel the heart pounding and the blood moving through the body.  I felt the ripple effect of each movement and how it translated and reverberated throughout my system.  I felt the sweat as it was released from my pores.  I felt the determination, the challenge, the delight, the exhaustion, the exhilaration of each movement the body entered into.  I once again am so thankful I can do these things.  And so I will continue to work toward living a life that is focused on optimum health on every level.   And when I feel that desire to let loose a wee bit, then I suppose I just should, but to do so in a manner that is relatively acceptable.

Now I hope you are not thinking that I am this person whose behaviour erodes completely into deviance that is so deplorable and downright unacceptable it would make your fingers and toes curl backward.  I am pretty tame with regards to what I term ‘naughty’.  Now that I have clarified that I will ride off into the sunset…make that sunrise…make that work.  The mind, she is wandering a wee bit this Monday.

Have a good one.


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