To those who have passed before…


I woke up this morning with the lingering memories of a dream about my cousin Randy.  I laid in bed for a few moments remembering that sweet, fragile soul.  Always a smile on his face and he so wanted to be able to do what we were doing.  Just normal stuff…that’s all.  This was not always possible for him, however.  Randy was born with a hole in his heart.  He underwent several surgeries.  He had a pacemaker that displayed the infancy of the technology of the day.  It was large and cumbersome.

I thought that if he had been born today, his issues, while serious in nature, could have been corrected with technology and he likely would have been able to live a relatively normal life.  In my own case, had a blockage been discovered during that time, the procedure would have been very invasive and yes, they would have had to crack open the chest cavity. And they likely would not have had the ability to foresee the possibility of a problem.  I likely would have ended up having a heart attack back in the day.

Amazing how much technology has changed in the past 40 some odd years.

Randy was just 9 years old when he passed away.  It was not his heart condition that killed him but rather the staff infection he had picked up in the hospital.

I am looking at the mark on my wrist, which now looks like a small freckle, which was the entry point for the Angioplasty.  More remarkable is the fact that I was wide awake for the entire thing.

Thinking about our frailty as humans and our resilience as well.  Thinking about our strength and determination.  I have been blessed in so many ways.  There is a lesson in all of this.  For me it is appreciating and caring for this body.  Then going beyond that and caring and loving those around me.  I think I touched on this a little yesterday as well but I tell you while driving into the gym this morning I could feel my cousin’s spirit with me.  Could feel that little boy’s pain in not being able to play with us.  Could see the desire to ‘just be normal’ in his eyes.

His legacy still stands though.  He was part of an ambitious movement in healthcare to correct issues surrounding our most vital organ…the heart.

I think of my own mother, who died of heart disease and did not go to the doctor.  Who did not take care and nurture the body that housed her.

This is a rather reflective post on this beautiful clear winter day.  I suppose the message is to enjoy each day and get out there and move.  Really let the body enjoy and experience that fluidity.  Let it get chilled by the winter air and watch the goose bumps rise up.  Rub your arms and watch them go down.  Feel the muscles as they ripple in constant connection with the rest of you as you walk around…or run.  Feel how good it is when those you love hold you…and you them.  Close your eyes…take a deep breath and listen to the beating of your heart.  Know that the energy that is contained in it is your life source.

And to Randy…thank you sweet angel for your visit this morning.  So good to see your smile again.

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