I had really good workout this morning. I really kicked it. I get into these zones where I am just focused on breath and light and every little sensation and thought that moves through me. I have been, over the past little while, very cognizant of our connection to each other and everything around us. Funny how we think we are isolated and alone. We are not. If there is pain, it is universal and felt by all. If there is joy it too is universal and felt by all. And the great healer for all of us is love. That is most definitely universal and felt by all. My point I suppose it that all these things exist. We all share them. It is our choice. That I suppose is the operative word…choice.
I think for a long time I rejected love because I didn’t feel that I was worthy to receive it. I chose to live in fear because that was all I had known. And there were many, many people that lived like that as well and there still are. That is not to say that I was this completely negative and brooding creature who shunned everyone. Quite the contrary, I have always been friendly and have always had a rather strange sense of humour. But yes, I was likeable enough. It was how I felt internally. I had pulled myself away from that connection to our life source. I had cocooned myself in a blanket of doubt and stayed there.
And then I ran a race and I finished it. A thousand doors opened that day and I became the wind and the air and the rain. I was the sunshine and the dew on newly sprouted leaves. I made a connection, quite accidentally or was it? But I made a connection to what at that time, I didn’t know. Looking back I can see that the shift within has been going of for quite some time. I just wasn’t aware of it. Now there is this delightful exuberance that I feel. I still am not too sure how to stay plugged into this beautiful energy all the time and I don’t even know if you can stay plugged in all the time, but it is so sweet.
This morning as I was working out, my knees were feeling a little rickety. And I just started to breath and really tried to think about my knees as being fluid. The pain I was feeling subsided and I just closed my eyes and focused on the movements that my body was working through. Just really focused on each muscle as it expanded and retracted. Felt the breath move through me and deliver life to every cell.
And it was just so cool. I felt like the wind on this grey and rainy Vancouver day. I felt so strong and fluid.
Tonight I will be with my run group. We will be doing intervals which is speed training. So perhaps I will see if I can adopt the wind for this little venture tonight. I will keep you posted.
Enjoy your day!