The Laws of Gravity….


I was out with friends on Saturday night and we were chatting amongst ourselves having a few drinks.  Next to us three young men sat drinking their beer.  The one guy says to his friends “I have a picture of my ex-girlfriend’s boobs…do you want to see them?”

I let out quite a loud guffaw and then laughed in a  rather surprised manner.  It is one of those things you overhear….something about the word ‘boob’ being in a sentence somehow just draws the attention.  So I got to thinking about this most revered part of the female anatomy.  Somewhere in the grand mix everyone wants big ones.  Why…I don’t know.  The female body as a whole is an absolutely beautiful thing to behold.  It also takes many different forms…and so it should.  We have an amazing structure that is not only sensual but life-giving as well.

So I got to thinking about my girls…we have gotten rather attached over the years and at times their demand for attention can be rather annoying.  They have a way of entering a room before I do and at times I think they have misrepresented me.  So every now and again I have to give them a good talking to….now I could have said tongue lashing…but somehow I think that might be taken out of context.  In any case sadly, the girls are finally starting to give in to gravity.

In my youth they were perky little devils.  I used to refer to them as Lethal Weapons 1 & 2.  They liked that.  Found it quite amusing.  They were daring little darlings at that time.  As I got older I tried calling them Thelma & Louise but all they did is fight over who the younger one was….and who got to sleep with Brad Pitt.  So then I just started to call them the girls.  They seem rather ambivalent about this term…but hey, it works.

Funny how now if I bend over the girls’ resemble a couple of cow udders and if I lay down on my back they slide off into my arm pits…sad…very sad.  But fortunately there are bras out there that hoist them back into some semblance of their former glory.

I tell you though, some of the tests that they put the poor gals through these days…is it any wonder that they are traumatized and giving into the elements?  The first time I went for mammogram the nurse told me it would be a little uncomfortable.  Let me tell you…it is a lot uncomfortable.  They take some of the most tender flesh on a woman and proceed to flatten it between two plates of cold, hard, unforgiving sheets of glass.  The nurse instructs you not to breathe.  No worries there…

I understand the need for such tests…but hopefully they will be able to make them more user-friendly down the road because as it stands right now…we are sending the ladies into hostile territory.

They deserve to be cared for as does every other part of the anatomy…but because of their status, they are goddesses in their own right, they need that little extra.

So be kind to your girls…and remember…they are beautiful just the way they are…and just as we all look very different in our own right…the ladies have their own character as well.

And to the young man who took a picture of his ex-girlfriend’s boobs then flashed it all over the place…there is a reason that you are now single.  Delete the picture…try some manners on for size.  You’ll be surprised on how far they may take you.

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