In the Beginning….

What I hope to share with everyone who decides to share in this experience with me…is the sense of renewal and the excitement of the road ahead.  And I have no idea what that looks like….but the idea of it is exhilarating none the less. 

The Power of One…that connection…how many people do you come into contact with on any given day?  What energy are you parlaying to them?  Are you reaching out for that sense of human contact or are you drawing back from it?  It is amazing if you stop and think how many people you actually interact with on any given day…even more exciting is what you can possibly share with them. 

Think about it.  We will never be in the exact same place at the exact same time in the course of this world turning ever again.  This moment will never come again. There will always be variables that have shifted even if you were standing in the exact same place 24 hours later….the energy and the light source coming to us will have shifted….and while we are hurtling through space at 600 miles per hour on this planet that is wobbling its way arond the sun we have this source of energy that just permeats our very being…ours to accept or reject.  We are never still…though we feel we are….there is never true silence in terms of the definition we have provided…and we are never alone.

Very recently I have begun to discover this energy….for me it is magic…and I will provide a definition shortly but I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself….not just yet.  Right now I am feeling quite giddy and excited and wanting to share all of this….I want to reach out and connect with everyone and everything…and this seems as likely a place to start as any. 

A bit about me… name is Nancy….I am changing how I interact in this world….strange I know, but really cool.  While I have probably been making this shift for a lifetime, recognition and admission started with me doing the Sun Run in 2010.  That was the catalyst for me to start making some serious changes in my life.

When I was younger, I loved to run.  My best definition for running is meditation in motion.  It is a very personal and liberating experience.  All of those roadblocks that life throws at you got in the way, however, and I ended up being in very poor shape physically.  At one point I was close to 300 lbs.  I had reduced my weight to about 240 lbs.  by the time I signed up for the Sun Run in 2010.  For anyone that in not aware what the event is…..Vancouver, BC has a 10k run that it has been doing for 27 years that raises funds for charity.  It now boasts about 50,000 particpants per year.  Participants can either run or walk.  So I signed up my daughter and I for this event…and because I had not run in ages…I joined a running clinic.  The Right Shoe….an absolutely fantastic and supportive group.

My first run with them was in early February 2010 and I thought I was going to die!   The first test was run for 2 minutes and walk for 3 minutes. In my mind I was thinking “Easy”.    A minute into running….I thought death was imminent and quite possibly preferrable at that point….I had been going to the gym and I thought I was in better shape than this…..surprise!

But I persevered….every week I ran with my group then did a second run on my own.  My goal was to do the Sun Run 2010 in  a run 10 minutes walk for 1 minute format and complete the run in 90 minutes.

The run took place on May 9th, 2010 and something quite extraordinary happened.  The energy of the crowd was incredible…wild in fact.  I finished the run in 88 minutes…I was under my time….I was pumping my arms in the air and laughing and then the emotions just washed over me and I started to cry.  I had just finished something that I never thought I could do again.  I have had problems with my feet over the years…had an operation on my right foot back in my 20’s because my foot is crooked….had lots of problems just with the impact of the weight that I had gained….but here I was at 52 years of age completing this run.  And the thought planted itself at that moment…and it was a defining moment to be sure.  The thought was this.  “If you can do this at this weight….think what you can do if you take the weight off…and if you can do this…then you can take the weight off.”

And in that moment I made a committment to myself .  I want to become a whole and complete person…I want all of me back.

And please understand that in no time in my life have I ever been a whole and complete person at any one time.  So the concept was even a bit radical….

So there I was at the finish line…and I was really at the beginning…a new journey had just opened unknowingly….and all these thoughts and emotions were coursing through me that I had not expected or foreseen and is was absolutely wonderful!

It is now December 7, 2011….I have taken off  a substantial amount of weight.  I did the Sun Run 2011 in 67 minutes…..ran the entire thing…and in September of this year I did the Coho Run which is a 14k…and that I completed in 92 minutes.

I have been exploring many things this year….which I will discuss in future blogs…but happily I can again call myself a runner.

Running has been a re-birth for me.  A spiritual connection to self as it were.  I can feel every pore open…I can feel the sweat cleansing me.  I can feel the air moving through me and over my body…I feel so very estactic in these moments.  They are mine.

And I have only now just begun to realize what I can do and what I am capable of.  It is that beauty of self discovery that has been so very prevalent this year.  And so I will leave you with a little passage that I wrote a while back….I am very close to free falling at this point.

Emergence….a beautiful yet sometimes frightening process…you begin to see things, feel things in a way you never have before…you take the steps that previously you would have been afraid to take…and when you don’t stumble and fall…it is exhilarating!   You move forward, cautiously at first….the excitement building…the clarity of self begins to sharpen…and you think…maybe…just maybe I will be successful this time.  In a way I am being reborn…the labour will be a long and difficult process.  Oh, but the end result!  I am close now.  So close.  It starts with how the mind sees, how it processes…how it absorbs thoughts and outside stimuli.  Now you are on the precipice of diving into the life you have always wanted for yourself…yet still….fear remains.  Those final tentacles hold you…and all you have to do is let go

3 thoughts on “In the Beginning….

  1. Hi Nancy, I stumbled across your blog this evening and just wanted to say hi. I love the way you write about your running, I feel very similarly. I recently ran a half marathon which was pretty intense. It’s definitely meditative, I’ve always thought so; it’s rare that I don’t finish a good run without some new thought or inspiration.

    I feel I want to say something about many of your other posts, although I’m not quite sure what right now, so it may have to wait, and for now I shall leave you with likes. I do enjoy your writing style, thanks for putting these posts out there.

    All the best!



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